I just really enjoy leaving notes

I really like writing notes to people. And to myself actually… (weird). I actually wrote myself a note today in my car, giving myself an A+ for putting my jeans in the laundry while completely forgetting that a mere 10 minutes earlier I had just placed this weeks babysitting money in the back pocket. Sigh. I am particularly fond of a well placed Post – It full of wit and snark as a (hopefully pleasant?) little surprise for someone. And perhaps they do not understand the genius that is in the note, but I think I’m hilarious so who cares.

I thought of this because I am CONSTANTLY leaving notes for my parents reminding them that we STILL DO HAVE AN ANSWERING MACHINE and in the .05% chance that a non-telemarketer has called and left an important/relevant message, maybe they should umm take a listen. This is actually a fairly involved process. I’m the only one who ever checks the answering machine, because as noted above, no one seems to remember that we have that. So I hear all the messages meant for my parents and then I promptly start the process of hoping that sometime in the next 24 – 48 hours one of them figures out there is a message on the answering machine. It takes about four neon Post It’s on the ACTUAL phone/answering machine, and several leading arrows or reminders that will point them to the note covered phone which MAYBE they will read and perhaps understand a message is on the machine.

But I don’t leave normal message notes. I don’t say who called, or what there number is or really anything relevant at all. This is the  note I just left for my father:

FATHER: A person has called. They want to talk to you. BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING

please remember that your decreased work ethic is the reason

we may soon be living off food stamps and under a bridge somewhere.

If you need an agent for negotiation I am available. 

You may notice this note gives pretty much no useful information. But I love it. I think it’s great, and if he ever finds his way to the phone to listen to that message, I will just laugh alone at myself and my brilliance that no one else understands. This is probably part of the reason people think I’m insane……….

Thank you Schuyler for posting this on facebook because it is actually my life 🙂 Completely Accurate

*If you would like a witty note left for you inquiries are welcome. However do not expect anything even close to sappy-silly-nonsense. I prefer a more sarcastic route….