2013: A Very Brief Review

It’s New Years Eve Day. Somehow. I don’t entirely understand how it came to be the end of 2013 but here we are and now I get to spend the next several weeks/months incorrectly writing the date on everything I do. Hooray! I am going to take a look back at 2013 and try and share some of the biggest events of the year. Trust me, they are all super exciting and thrilling and are probably mostly about books.

January: minor stop in the ER in NYC but it was totally cool because I was placed next to this famous dying lady and her whole famous family was there. Sadly, I don’t recall her last name. Also not entirely sure if she died. If not, Cheers to you Anita!

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This is clearly after I had received the morphine….

February: Birthday! After a terrible string of birthdays, this one was pretty awesome thanks to some pretty awesome friends. And I got a giant teacup of hard cider which was pretty sweet.

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Birthday! Allison was probably more drunk than I was….. haha

March: Ended up back where I had started the year…booo, also Spring Break For- everrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

April: Went to Rose Rock with some lovely ladies which was fun because it involved Free Stuff + Music + Sitting Outside in the sun + more free stuff!

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FREE PHOTOBOOTH?!? I really really love free stuff…..

May: Finally released from Algonquin :-P, My dear friend Sarah FINALLY got engaged, discovered the deliciousness that is Crabbie’s Ginger Beer and attempted to be artistic and paint my own pair of Toms.

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this was clearly prior to the start of my attempt at creativity…. minor(/major) fail.

June: Pretended I could run a 5K (note the use of the word pretended…..)

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I was also pretending to be really hardcore…. also I still have fairly substantial eyebrows at this point… interesting….

…..and saw some beautiful people get married 🙂

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I really liked these 🙂 so cute!!!

July: Went to Atlanta and spent like 2 hours crying at the otters at the Georgia Aquarium, and was also asked to leave on account of the fact that they were closing for the night. Rough times.

August: Got a chance to relive college in a little bit and go back to CAMP KESEM!!!!!! Although this time in Michigan! (cold).

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Not only did I get to be Luna again, but I convinced many small Children I ACTUALLY went to Hogwarts. And I had this particular very exciting day where my t-shirt matched my hair bow perfectly.

September: Somehow acquired Mono. A mystery still to this day. Also no one believed me on that one for a while, so that was pretty cool…..

October: Oktoberfest, I was tricked into going to a Football game, Got really angry at a 10 year old because they write better than I do, and Halloween…..

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ok to be fair…. this picture was TECHNICALLY in November, but like it was like 2 days in so basically still Oct./Halloween

November: Randomly went TO CHURCH for the first time in, oh I don’t know, 12-15 years? Totally not awkward. And spent roughly 30 hours in the car in two days with my mother on what was possibly the absolute worst car trip of my entire life. Also the only time that I was IN Richmond but did not care at all about being there.

December: ALL CHRISTMAS ALL THE TIME. Sketchily went to the Children’s section of the library and requested one, just ONE SINGULAR ticket to an afternoon Children’s puppet show (didn’t feel creepy at all), Tried to steal some adorable African Children even though they specifically said they weren’t up for adoption 😦 That was sad.

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Ok seriously, they were so cute. I wanted them. There were like 4 in particular I was trying to figure out how to somehow take home with me…..

And that was 2013! Let’s see what you’ve got 2014….

Happy New Year Everyone! Be safe tonight!!!

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This is a REAL LIFE goal of mine

So it’s no secret I LOVE free stuff. I don’t even care what it is, if it’s free I’ll take it I don’t care.

And every so often I go through a period of OBSESSIVELY entering as many giveaways as possible in the hopes that MAYBE I’ll win something (FREE!)

Because, true life: My real goal in all of life is to WIN something.

I’m not even a little bit joking.

The only thing I have ever won in my entire life was when I was about 9 years old. It was parents night at Heldeberg Workshp, and if you happened to go there, you may remember that there was always a raffle on parents night. And one year, I became obsessed with (of all things), a walking stick. I HAD to have it. It was beautiful, hand carved, apparently really necessary in my life and I wanted to win it so badly. I begged and pleaded for tickets to entire the raffle and my mom maybe bought me like 5 or something and I put all my hopes and dreams in those 5 tickets and waited to feel the excitement of holding the walking stick in my hand, triumphant.

Well, do to some luck, probably the fact that not very many people had entered the raffle, and the prayers of an innocent young blonde with an unfortunate set of bangs, I WON that walking stick. It was the proudest and most excited I had ever been. I walkled around with it for days, before I decided I was scared I would ruin it and so I put it in a place of honor in my room, where it has since stayed.

Since that day, the day of the walking stick, I have been hunting, searching, and waiting to experience the pure joy of winning something again. So I spend many hours of my life, doing all the necessary things to enter as many contests or giveaways as possible. That potentially may be the reason I receive so many strange emails that I don’t know why I’m receiving…. hmmm lightbulb moment there. But to no avail. Not since I was 9 have I experienced a win. I mean by law of averages you would think that by NOW something would have happened. But, unfortunately no luck.

I have no idea why it is so important for me to win something. Maybe because I never really like got any awards as a child and my inner freudian child is angry and wants to get an “award” (although, I DID come in first place in a Pumpkin Carving contest in like 5th grade, of which I am still extremely proud but did not receive a physical trophy…..). I did not grow up in the days of the “participation trophy” and so my trophy shelves remain empty and covered in dust. But maybe, just maybe, if I could win something, just once, I would feel like one of those terrible children on “Toddlers and Tiaras” and get to show off my trophy to everyone. (except they get like crowns and puppies which like isn’t even fair but don’t get me started….)

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This is an example of something that I didn’t win. Although this is also something I never attempted to win…. but still. It counts.

One week until Christmas! Done shopping yet? I thought I was in my head where everything has been done months ago but then when I ACTUALLY said out loud what I had actually physically gotten, I realized I have done nothing. WHOOPS. Better get shoppin!

American car horns beep in the tone of F… just so you know.

Well my day today started off with a wooden block being thrown at my head, about 45 minutes of screaming/crying (and that was just me! haha), and spilling my entire water bottle all over the kids toys and making them really upset because I had “ruined everything.” And then I was told I was fired for 100 weeks. So, good start :-).

So remember how I was stuck in a rut? Well, I’m now in a slightly different rut. I for some reason am having a complete and devastating lack of anything original or any ideas or anything at all to say. And why say something if it means nothing? So hence, I haven’t been writing at all recently. Not at all.

And then yesterday, someone told me that they wanted me to “write my memoir.” And I was told that maybe I should for 30 minutes each day just work on this “memoir.” My immediate reaction was, uhhhh no. My life is really boring and how could I possibly have anything to say that would be worthy of a memoir? And then I had a momentary crisis where I realized I didn’t actually know what the technical difference was between a memoir and an autobiography and that turned into like 3 hours of researching the differences which led to somehow online shopping and then watching the CLASSIC “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” starring one JTT and Jessica Biel, in a ridiculous situation of trying to get home for Christmas. It was the first time I had watched it since when it had first come out, and WOW you realize how terrible things are that once seemed so amazing.

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ahhhh my school girl crush at his finest…. Although are we really supposed to believe THAT KID is in college? No, you look 13.

Anyway, despite the super excellence of that movie I realized that this “writers block” or lack of original thoughts and ideas is actually more of a constant problem of mine and less of a phase. I have thoughts, ideas, sometimes unreasonably extravagant ideas, just like anyone else. But I don’t really ever notice them. I don’t notice the things that I’m thinking about. I don’t notice a lot of things! I am way too much inside myself to notice a thing! So that’s the current goal, just to notice. Technically, “be more mindful”, which is something I’ve only been hearing practically every single day for the past 3 years, but apparently seems finally necessary now.

I leave with a favorite quote of mine from my absolute favorite comic, “Calvin and Hobbes.”

Calvin: “If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.”

Think about it. 🙂

❤ Kelly