Fitness Funk…..

I’ve always said this blog has no theme, which is very clearly true if you look at anything I’ve ever written on here. However, a theme in my life for the past several years (with particular emphasis on the last year and a half) has been getting healthy. And I need some advice so this is what is happening today.

I was always an active child, I played sports, did outdoorsy things whatever. In college I did my best to keep it up and went to the gym as often as I could and participated in intramurals. So that was ok for a while, but I found that without some form of outside structure (like being a part of a team) I constantly was having to FORCE myself to get off my couch. Being active wasn’t fun anymore. And so my senior year of college I just stopped going to the gym because I told myself it was too hard. That combined with my complete inability to cook lead to a lot of take-out and a lot of lazy. I thought that was ok, but I wasn’t happy. I can’t look at my graduation pictures without cringing because I just was so unhealthy and unhappy.

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(please ignore the poor image qaulity and the fact that the black dress is way way too short!!! boo)

So I’ve been trying to change that! FINALLY last October I joined a gym, got a personal trainer, and decided to get serious about being healthy. As much as I would love to eat ice cream all day everyday, that probably isn’t the smartest decision. Since then it’s been really hard, I will not sugarcoat that at all. When I first get back to the gym I’m all motivated and excited and it feels great, but I have now reached the 6 month mark and I’m #overit again. I’ve tried taking new classes, joining a rec soccer team, going on walks in interesting places, but I’ve lost my motivation again. Even on the most beautiful day sometimes I’ll just sit inside instead of going for a quick walk, even though I know for a fact that I always feel better after exercise and eating well. I know that losing motivation to get healthy is fairly common, and I’m wondering if anyone has any out of the box suggestions to get me going again???!?!!? What can I do to make the “healthy lifestyle” more exciting so that I start doing all those good things again? Thoughts? Criticisms? Motivational Speeches? A VISIT FROM BOB HARPER AND JILLIAN MICHAELS AND DOLVETT QUINCE PERHAPS? (pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease) haha

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Hope y’all are enjoying some beautiful weather!

I’d rather be happy

If you know anything about me at all, you know that I am ridiculously obsessed with free stuff. I spend hours researching free activities, entering contests, trying to get free money, etc., etc., so the following might seem a BIT out of character. Do not be too alarmed. (I still like free stuff don’t worry).

This is something that I have always kind of lived by, but today it really like hit me in the face for absolutely no discernible reason. Another contradiction that I am a walking example of is that I like to do new things, try and have unique experiences and take advantage of what I can do while I can! Of course at the same time, I’m like terrified of trying new things, but in the end, to me the experience is always worth it.

So what hit me today was that I would rather be happy than “rich.” Ok I know that sounds cliche and stupid. So let me explain. This week I spent $70.00 at bookstores. Some people may think that is absurd when I already have a zillion books and the pile of “to-read” books is getting taller than I am, but finding a book, picking it up and imagining the possibilities within it? That’s thrilling to me! Finding really random kitchy things that I don’t really need or something I find really funny, I love that. I want to buy all of it. I don’t care if other people think it’s a waste of money or if people think I’m crazy, it’s something that really makes me happy.

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True Story

I feel the same way about spending a little extra money to go do something that I know I truly enjoy. Or to try something I’ve always wanted to do. I know that pretty much everyone else does not share this opinion. Especially as someone in their mid-twenties, the main focus for so many people my age is money. And I totally understand, I know that I have to (and I do) save money for school and for bills and for rent and for becoming a “real adult.” And it might seem irresponsible for me to write this, especially since I work 3 fake jobs and make very little money, but I save almost all of it so why shouldn’t I spend a little more to do things that make me happy. Would I like to have a good job and a really solid savings account and enough money to be a “real adult”? Absolutely, I’d love that! But that isn’t my reality right now, so while I can I want to try new things. I want to go out for a fancy dinner or go to a play or try  a random kayaking adventure.

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So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past several years, well really ever since high school. Unfortunately I remain alone in this venture, because my friends are sensible real adults who have real lives to worry about! So I’m awkward loner in the corner at a random event, or literally the only person who goes to like a Paint/Drink place alone, but I enjoy it. I don’t like blow all my money on some crazy vacation that I’ll never be able to pay off or something like that, but I will spend a little more if I know that even for just a few hours, I will get to enjoy my life. I may never be a rich woman, but I won’t regret doing what makes me happy.

Happy Weekend!

I just really enjoy leaving notes

I really like writing notes to people. And to myself actually… (weird). I actually wrote myself a note today in my car, giving myself an A+ for putting my jeans in the laundry while completely forgetting that a mere 10 minutes earlier I had just placed this weeks babysitting money in the back pocket. Sigh. I am particularly fond of a well placed Post – It full of wit and snark as a (hopefully pleasant?) little surprise for someone. And perhaps they do not understand the genius that is in the note, but I think I’m hilarious so who cares.

I thought of this because I am CONSTANTLY leaving notes for my parents reminding them that we STILL DO HAVE AN ANSWERING MACHINE and in the .05% chance that a non-telemarketer has called and left an important/relevant message, maybe they should umm take a listen. This is actually a fairly involved process. I’m the only one who ever checks the answering machine, because as noted above, no one seems to remember that we have that. So I hear all the messages meant for my parents and then I promptly start the process of hoping that sometime in the next 24 – 48 hours one of them figures out there is a message on the answering machine. It takes about four neon Post It’s on the ACTUAL phone/answering machine, and several leading arrows or reminders that will point them to the note covered phone which MAYBE they will read and perhaps understand a message is on the machine.

But I don’t leave normal message notes. I don’t say who called, or what there number is or really anything relevant at all. This is the  note I just left for my father:

FATHER: A person has called. They want to talk to you. BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING

please remember that your decreased work ethic is the reason

we may soon be living off food stamps and under a bridge somewhere.

If you need an agent for negotiation I am available. 

You may notice this note gives pretty much no useful information. But I love it. I think it’s great, and if he ever finds his way to the phone to listen to that message, I will just laugh alone at myself and my brilliance that no one else understands. This is probably part of the reason people think I’m insane……….

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Thank you Schuyler for posting this on facebook because it is actually my life 🙂 Completely Accurate

*If you would like a witty note left for you inquiries are welcome. However do not expect anything even close to sappy-silly-nonsense. I prefer a more sarcastic route….

If you don’t like books don’t read this

…..and also you are practically dead to me. But regardless, the following is a list of books I’ve read recently/within the past year that I absolutely recommend to anyone who likes to read. And I do this only because I love sharing wonderfulness I find in books/movies with the world!! Also now next time someone asks me for a book suggestion they may refer to this list! Soooo here are some books for a snow day like today, books I believe that we should be required to read AS HUMAN BEINGS.

1. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

yes Gone Girl was the one that got all the hype (and I did like that book quite a bit too!) but I don’t think nearly enough credit has gone to her two earlier novels. Dark Places is my favorite. I find it more mysterious and thrilling, scary and captivating than Gone Girl. Definitely not a “beach read” but an excellent psychological thriller.

2. Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline

I honestly did not know about this part of history and it is horribly fascinating and makes for a damn good book. A very nice combination of historical fiction and the present foster family system.

3. Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh

Do you like dogs? Do you like to laugh out loud? Do you miss the days of picture books? This book is for you.

4. January First by Michael Schofield

A  definite must for anyone interested in mental illness, it is written by the father of an 8 year old girl with schizophrenia. Fascinating! You may have seen them on a special on Discovery Health/TLC/other channels “Born Schizophrenic.”

5. The Glass Castle  by Jeanette Walls

So interesting! If you think your childhood was difficult, read this and then be really thankful that you did not have her childhood. I am amazed that the author and her siblings made themselves into something out of literally nothing. I really don’t think I would have been so strong. The tenacity of children is quite remarkable.

6. The Night Circus  by Erin Morgenstern

My only advice would be that if you choose to listen to this on audiobook, DO NOT under any circumstances, start this when you are alone at night because Track 1 slash the entire little intro section is just the creepiest music ever and it probably should not have been the last thing I heard before I went to bed that night. Just saying. Other than that, excellent 🙂 I want to go to The Night Circus, I’m going to believe in it’s magic and that it’s still out there…..

7. Fellow Mortals by Dennis Mahoney

When I read the back cover all I really saw was that it was about a postal worker or something and I was like umm sounds weird but I was going to read it for a book club because the author is actually from my area so yeah. ANYWAY. Point is, it is WAY more than a book about a postal worker. It is a story of love and loss and trying to make up for ones mistakes. And while it is primarily from the point of view of the mailman, I love that the author also includes everyone else that was affected, even the dog. And not in a cheesy stupid ‘oh the dog is talking now’ kind of way. Very well done.

8. Once We Were Brothers by Ronald H. Balson

There is really nothing I can say, that will do this book any justice. I will say (and this is absolutely true, not an exaggeration) I was physically unable to put this book down. The one time I did put it down because I was forced to, because I was supposed to be at work (dumb), all I did for the next several hours was talk about the book. I have not been THAT captivated by a book since the final Harry Potter book came out. So, we know I mean business! haha

I could seriously write at least 10 more and I am not pleased that I only gave y’all 8 (because 8 is not a great number but I’m doing exposure AH #teamanxiety #winning!) but I know that no one probably cares. Because we all have different tastes! So you may not like any of these! But if you find one you like, I’ll feel that my job is done.

READ ALL THE BOOKS EVER ❤ Kelly

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There is nothing better….

p.s. I realize that there seems to be (with one clear exception) a theme in this list of fairly dark/serious/emotional books and I do want people to know that I do read fluffy shit too. And all other kinds of books. I’m not just like this weird dark and twisty evil book lover. At least, I don’t think I am…..

American car horns beep in the tone of F… just so you know.

Well my day today started off with a wooden block being thrown at my head, about 45 minutes of screaming/crying (and that was just me! haha), and spilling my entire water bottle all over the kids toys and making them really upset because I had “ruined everything.” And then I was told I was fired for 100 weeks. So, good start :-).

So remember how I was stuck in a rut? Well, I’m now in a slightly different rut. I for some reason am having a complete and devastating lack of anything original or any ideas or anything at all to say. And why say something if it means nothing? So hence, I haven’t been writing at all recently. Not at all.

And then yesterday, someone told me that they wanted me to “write my memoir.” And I was told that maybe I should for 30 minutes each day just work on this “memoir.” My immediate reaction was, uhhhh no. My life is really boring and how could I possibly have anything to say that would be worthy of a memoir? And then I had a momentary crisis where I realized I didn’t actually know what the technical difference was between a memoir and an autobiography and that turned into like 3 hours of researching the differences which led to somehow online shopping and then watching the CLASSIC “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” starring one JTT and Jessica Biel, in a ridiculous situation of trying to get home for Christmas. It was the first time I had watched it since when it had first come out, and WOW you realize how terrible things are that once seemed so amazing.

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ahhhh my school girl crush at his finest…. Although are we really supposed to believe THAT KID is in college? No, you look 13.

Anyway, despite the super excellence of that movie I realized that this “writers block” or lack of original thoughts and ideas is actually more of a constant problem of mine and less of a phase. I have thoughts, ideas, sometimes unreasonably extravagant ideas, just like anyone else. But I don’t really ever notice them. I don’t notice the things that I’m thinking about. I don’t notice a lot of things! I am way too much inside myself to notice a thing! So that’s the current goal, just to notice. Technically, “be more mindful”, which is something I’ve only been hearing practically every single day for the past 3 years, but apparently seems finally necessary now.

I leave with a favorite quote of mine from my absolute favorite comic, “Calvin and Hobbes.”

Calvin: “If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.”

Think about it. 🙂

❤ Kelly

Stuck in a Rut

So it appears that I seem to be stuck in a rut.

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See that, I’m in that car.

And a pretty large one at that…..And it is in every part of my life! I clearly have not updated this in 1000 million years. My health and fitness “progress?” seems to have stalled if not backslid a bit. Job prospects, not looking good. Especially after my last interview! THAT was awful. I don’t really know what it is exactly that I WANT to do. And so, for some reason, I can’t find the motivation to do something to change all that.

The thing is, I know what I need to do to get out of some of these ruts. But I can’t for some reason. But in other cases, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! And I’m wedged in pretty tight, so what would you do to get out of a complete “life rut” for lack of an actual term? Or what can I do to get myself motivated?! I would appreciate any suggestions. Cause in addition to the whole stuck in a hole thing it does appear that I have lost roughly 1/3 of any intelligence I may have had at some point. I am definitely getting dumber…. rough times people.

WELP lets not make this ALL depressing and about my sad sad existence. haha Today is Veteran’s Day (which people should really remember everyday) so a huge ‘Thank You’ to all those who have served, are serving, and will serve.

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Hello Brother. This is what you look like from the back.

And here are some fun facts/discoveries/random things that I have acquired recently.

  1. Did you know that only 2% of the ENTIRE WORLDS POPULATION is naturally a redhead? I just find that randomly interesting.
  2. Trader Joe’s sells GREETING CARDS????? And they are awesome! and I may have gotten like 9 of them….I’m stocking up on cards these days. I like having them on hand because I LOVE sending people mail sooo now its easier because I have so many cards to choose from right from my room!
  3. Oh my god, over the weekend I completely made over my bookcase. Because of every single book sale in a 50 mile radius I have come to possess more books than I could ever imagine. This has made for a very large problem with storage. So until this weekend, I just had bags and bags of books piling up in front of the bookcase and it was disastrous. But I took charge and put all my books on the floor (except my Top Shelf books obviously, I knew those wouldn’t change) and picked the books most worthy of placement on the shelf. And then I alphabetized them as is necessary on my bookcase, and I put the rest of the books under my bed so that I can still see the titles so that I do have easy access. Anyway, it was a really proud moment for the gigantic nerd in me.
  4. Kangaroos can’t jump backward!
  5. I have forgotten every single thing that has happened in the past like 10 weeks all of the sudden and I don’t have really anything interesting to say because my life is way boring.
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Is my school not SO BEAUTIFUL! I miss that place….

Adios Kiddos! Help me get out of the cement I seem to be stuck in!!!!

And the World Spins Madly On

Sorry for like another post that is not super awkward and embarrassing about things that happen in my life. This will be short I promise.

This song, and title of this post, has always been a favorite of mine. In particular I really like that line, “the world spins madly on.” Recently though, I’ve really begun to realize how true that is. I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately, a “quarter life crisis” if you will. And so when I’m alone and sulking in my own misery I kind of forget that people are out there living their lives. Without me. And I’m missing out on all that. So I’ve really been making a concerted effort to try and run with the world instead of against it.

We are all at different places in our lives. I’m 24. I know people my age who are engaged, married, have kids, are in medical school, law school, working at some real life job. But I also know people still finishing their undergrad degree, living at home, temping, or just traveling the world for a bit. And none of that is wrong. There is no “right” for this time in my life. And as hard as it is for me to come to terms with it, I’m going to make sure to try.

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This is my all time favorite cartoon, and reading this particular strip makes me cry every single time. I really love what it says. 🙂

Happy Monday everyone!! Hope the week just flies by!

Never Give Up

Honestly, this is one of the most moving films I’ve seen in a while and I don’t know how I can get more people to watch it so I wanted to share it here. I met the guy who made this and his friend CJ who is also in the video and they are some of the nicest and most caring people I’ve ever met. More people NEED to see this video. I don’t care if you don’t have OCD or even if you don’t know anyone with OCD, people need to know this story. People need to know it is not a joke, and how much pain it causes. The first time I saw this, I felt like some of John Kelly’s words were taken right from my own journal. I wish that more people could be as understanding and supportive as John’s community because OCD is so lonely. I respect John and CJ and their entire community so much and I applaud them for doing such an amazing thing to help bring awareness to something that very few people understand.

Hey, are you free?

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I’m going to go ahead and preface this post with some very important information because I don’t want there to be any confusion!

As a general rule, I’m starved for social attention and interaction on a constant basis. Being as I spend most of my free time making up songs and singing them to my dog, I am almost always up for doing something social. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in my pajamas, not showered, in bed, ready to go to sleep (ok at like 7:00pm) when someone has texted me being like “Let’s get coffee” and within 30 minutes I am ready and out the door. I really like doing stuff with my friends! So if I ever say I’m busy, the truth is that I probably actually for one time in my life am busy. Its probably a doctors appointment. I would say thats a pretty accurate assumption.

So with that in mind, here we go. I was at brunch this morning with my friend eating some delicious pancakes when she randomly asked me what I was doing tomorrow morning. I really didn’t think anything of it because a) I was probably free and b) like I said I like doing random things with people so I’m usually game for anything. Regardless, I said I was free and she asked me to accompany her on this volunteer thing which actually sounded really cool to me and I am really looking forward to it.

This however, got me thinking. How many times does some random acquaintance out of nowhere just spring you with “Hey so are you free tomorrow at 3pm?” While many times its totally innocent and it ends up being something you want to do, there is that small percentage of time when they are actually tricking you into doing something you don’t want to do. Example.

Person you kind of know sort of but aren’t really friends: Oh hey friend, what are you doing Thursday at 11:45 am?

You: ummmmm well that’s a very specific time,(looks at calendar) oh it appears nothing, why?

PYKOKSOBARF: Oh GREAT cause I need you to come over to my house and paint my room and then drive me 45 minutes away to some crazy event that you will hate!

You: Oh. (well, I can’t really say I’m busy now cause I just said I was free soo fml I’m stuck) Sounds Great!

If this situation is familiar to you, I sure can empathize. I’m sure many normal people have this situation happen and have no problem being like “Yeah right, that sounds terrible, ain’t nobody got time for that shit” because they generally have a little something called confidence and self respect. I however, do not. haha. So if someone asks me to do something and I don’t want to do it, 9 out of 10 times I’ll do it anyway. My friends know I do this all the time and I’ve done some pretty random and horribly awkward things just because someone tricked me with a simple question. For this reason I believe that all random acquaintances need to preface their request with WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS before springing times and availability on you. Yes, I may be free Saturday afternoon but that does NOT mean I am in anyway interested in spending an entire day listening to you complain about first world problems while I do all your housework because you don’t feel like doing it. If you had SAID that was what this Saturday would entail, I would have said I was busy! And by busy, I mean sitting at Starbucks reading or watching 12 hours of Netflix.

I say random people you know need to do this, because I don’t think this problem is really as applicable with friends. For me anyway. If you are my friend, I generally want to hang out with you and if you ask me to do something that I’m not like super excited about, I can usually back out with no problem. But those sneaky people who come out of nowhere and ambush you with nonsense requests that turn into torturous (but sometimes ultimately funny) experiences seem to be lurking around every corner! No I don’t want to move you into your new apartment, that sounds terrible! No, I don’t want to babysit the children that you constantly complain about how terrible they are and how its not even worth the money! But will I do it? Of course I will. Because I have no backbone.

Anyone reading this post can be almost certain that they have no cause to worry about this problem with me. The few people that consistently do this to me are in no way connected to me through the internet. So if you are friends with me on the internet, I probably like you in real life too. I realize that this post makes me seem like a terrible person, but I felt as though it was my duty to warn people of the dangers associated with a simple question. If someone you don’t know very well asks about your availability, I suggest being extremely vague at first until you know what they are asking you to do. Otherwise, you’ll end up on a date with someone who wants you to drive him to AA and tells you his entire psychiatric history within the 30 minutes of meeting him. (that actually happened to me, no lie.)