Dental Floss must have Magical Powers.

In general, I like to pride myself on keeping an assortment of toiletries, extra shampoo/conditioner, toothpaste, etc. so that when I inevitably run out, I’ve got a back up on hand. There are of course, times I am unprepared. So one morning, after using the very last of my travel size toothpaste, I was making a list of things I would buy while I was out.  I noticed I was out of dental floss, but I didn’t put it on my list. I didn’t even look for it in the store.

I don’t think I have ever bought dental floss ever in my whole life. Not that this has been a conscious choice, but I swear somehow, every single time I think I’m out of dental floss a brand new one appears out of thin air. How does it do this?! I’ve never questioned it because, hey one less thing I have to buy right? And that evening, when magically the dental floss fairy provided a new one in my bathroom drawer that I had only checked maybe 1000 times earlier that day, I had the realization that there must be some sort of magic involved here.

I could not stop thinking about this the rest of the night. And most of the next day. And I’m still thinking about it a week later. Where is all this dental floss coming from? Has anyone ever actually bought dental floss in a store, or am I the only one experiencing this very odd phenomenon? How are they making money off of this? Is this why there aren’t any dental floss ads, because it doesn’t need to be advertised since it magically appears in our homes?! I remain baffled. And I am genuinely curious about how this happens.

So am I crazy? (well obviously but ya know). Have people bought this product in a store? Have you ever received dental floss anywhere other than your annual dental check up “goody bag”??? SO MANY QUESTIONS with seemingly no answers. One day, we may find an answer to the real problems we are facing.

p.s. iheartfall

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I’ve been nominated for a Liebster Award!

An Award?! For ME?!

Well Howdy!

 I’m excited to say that I was nominated for the Liebstar award by Diana from thedianadiaries! Here are the rules:

  • You have to link back to the person that nominated you.
  • You must answer all 11 questions given to you by the person who nominated you.
  • After completing these questions you must nominate 11 bloggers with under 200 followers and give them 11 questions of your choice.
  • You must not nominate the person who nominated you.

You must let your nominees know that they have been nominated and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it.

The Questions I Have Been Asked to Answer: 

  1. What are three words you would use to describe yourself? Awkward, Dreamer, Unlucky
  2. Would you rather be a mermaid or a unicorn? Unicorn! Because we all know that Unicorn’s have awesome super powers of sustaining life and their blood is silver and GLITTER!
  3. What was your favorite movie/book as a kid? Well as a self-proclaimed nerd, I don’t know that I could really pick a favorite childhood book. I was a huge Beverly Cleary fan, loved me some Boxcar Kids, as a small tyke I really liked those “Carl” books. I’m not actually sure what they were REALLY called, but they were these gorgeous illustrations about this Black Lab named Carl, and there weren’t any words except like on the last page there would be maybe a short sentence or something. I can picture the Christmas one so clearly in my head…. I just always called them “Carl” books so I’m not sure what they really are called.
  4. If you could learn a new language, which one would it be? Ummmm, any language that SOUNDS really cool? That’s a pretty bad answer, but like I would like to learn a language that I could speak and sound really smart or cultured? This makes me appear to be a terrible person.
  5. Sun or Rain? Rain. All the more reason to stay inside and cuddle up with a book and some tea!
  6. What is your zodiac sign? And do you really believe in horoscopes? I am a Pisces and I super do NOT believe in horoscopes because everything I’ve ever read about Pisces is always “You are so creative and great at art and expressive and SO GOOD AT ART.” And anyone who has seen my “art” can attest that I’m not even a little bit good at art. So no.
  7. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Definitely a morning person, waking up late feels like I’ve wasted my day.
  8. What do you enjoy the most, watching movies or reading books?   I feel pretty confident that if you even know me a little bit or even not at all you know that the answer is clearly, undoubtedly reading books.
  9. What are three things in your life that you can’t live without? My planner, my dog, and caffeine.
  10. Would you rather be alone or with someone who you don’t really love? Alone, but then again I AM a loner…. Possibly a future recluse
  11. What is/are, according to you, the most annoying personality traits? I guess the most annoying personality trait to me is narcissism? Which by that I mean those people who feel the need to make every single conversation/situation/problem about themselves, like if I were to say “Hey I’ve developed an addiction to heroin!*” this person would be, “Well that is really hard on me because of this completely unrelated situation that I will now talk about for 10 hours and I will not acknowledge anything you said ever again.” Also co-morbid with being a “one-upper.” (which also drives me crazy).  *Disclaimer – I’m not addicted to heroin.

OK! So I realize that I mainly talked about books in those answers… so I’m officially an awesome loser (sorry not sorry) but now I have to think of questions and this is stressful! Oh No! BUT FIRST! I shall nominate:

Rantings from Inside My Head

Something Clever…

Viciously Sweet

ABBI957

I’ll try and think of more later, my brain is broken. BUT HERE ARE MY THRILLING QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED BY THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO ACCEPT 😛

  • What was the last picture you took on your phone? Was it a selfie? (I may be judging you….)
  • Any current “bad habits” or habits that took forever to get rid of ? i.e. nail biting?
  • What actor/actress would be the best “you” in the biographical movie of your life?
  • If you had to pick a television show to be your life, what would it be?
  • What was the last movie you saw? Was it worth it? (Review unnecessary, but appreciated)
  • Have you ever been a participant in a food fight?
  • Is there a particular word that literally makes you want to die when you hear it? (ex. moist UGH EW)
  • What has been your favorite class out of all the classes you have ever been in?
  • Have you ever met anyone famous??
  • What is the corniest joke you know?
  • What is the best compliment you have ever received?

Off you go! Now I can’t stop thinking of really weird questions….. I’m enjoying that part WAY more than I had anticipated…. 

What You’ve Missed

Ok, yeah. My last post was in March, so lets all just give me an A+ on that….But when you see what you have missed out on this past month and a half, oh boy will you understand.

Things that have happened in my extremely riveting life since March 21, 2014:

1. I wrote myself some super encouraging notes to get myself to actually DO MY SCHOOL WORK

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This is what it has come to

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Some scare tactics…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. I became best friends with a horse because I feel he is the only one who truly understands me.

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Please Note the “I’m Grumpy, Please do NOT pet me sign”

3. I achieved a life goal and saw Idina Menzel live on Broadway and I cried when she came out. And I also almost attacked Anthony Rapp. Casual.

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SO GOOD. The entire cast was fantastic but ohmygod Idina Menzel is a goddess!

4. I read a lot of books, I watched a lot of Netflix.

And that’s it! Can you believe it? Like WOAHHHH slow down there Kelly don’t push yourself too hard there!

Aren’t we all glad now I didn’t write anything? Yes. I wish I could say that in a flash my life will become exponentially more exciting but that is obviously false. If anyone has any ideas for fun secret missions or FREE adventures, please let me know. I love free things and secret missions. And there just has not been enough of that in my life recently.

Forever avoiding the real world, Kelly.

My Interpretation of the Oscars (roughly to completely inaccurate)

Ok, I love a good awards show. What I love even more is watching said awards show while simultaneously being on twitter and laughing at what everyone says to like every single minute detail of the event. I have a lot of fun by myself. It’s cool.

So anyway, I also had my own thoughts on ‘Hollywood’s Biggest Night’ as I’m sure practically every person did. But I’m mostly sure that all of MY thoughts were really wrong.

Things I thought/believe about the Oscars last night:

  1. They are PLAYING HARRY POTTER MUSIC and it is the best moment of my entire life! Hey and that’s Mary Poppins “Lets Go Fly a Kite” !!! Is there an Oscar for best background/fade to commercial music??? (there should be, because A+)
  2. Jennifer Lawrence is great and seems to fall over as randomly as I do so I feel like we should probably talk about that.
  3. Frank Underwood is at the Oscars!!!!!!! oh my god is he going to kill anyone!??!! Wait, why isn’t he talking normally anymore? Who is this other person who looks like Frank? Please go away, I want Frank back (unless he is going to kill me…..)
  4. Is Idina Menzel going to sing yet? Is she? Is she? IS SHE? WHY ISN’T SHE SINGING YET I CAN’T GO TO BED UNTIL SHE SINGS.
  5. Well, clearly John Travolta is a huge Broadway fan. (this one is probably accurate though….)
  6. I think all the people should win!
  7. OK hold on. Alfonso Cuaron directed HP numero tres, and HE just won an Oscar…….WHICH MEANS HARRY POTTER JUST WON AN OSCAR. (not even a little true)
  8. I bet Kristen Bell kind of regrets that she brought a burrito in her clutch cause she could have gotten free pizza…….(but it’s still really cool she brought a burrito)
  9. And finally, 12 Years a Slave just won an Oscar. That is the story of a man who lived in Saratoga. Which is practically where I live. Which means we are basically neighbors (despite the part where he is dead). So therefore based on logic the 518 won the WHOLE OSCARS. (nope, not accurate).

And that is how I feel about the Oscars.

Happy Monday Almost Being Over.

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please be the weekend, please be the weekend, please be the weekend.

So this is my brain. Beware.

Questions That I Think About on a Daily Basis (most of which are completely impossible)

  1. How absolutely amazing will it be when (notice I say when, not if….#delusional) I get two baby otters as pets and then they are best friends and we are all best friends together and I just sit and play with them and watch them and cry all day?!?!??!!?

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    Is this not the most precious thing in the entire world? I am seriously getting one. or 100.

  2. What if that thing happens like in that book that I can never remember the name of that we read in school 9 million years ago and all the adults (real adults, I’m still a fake adult so I’d be good) randomly disappear and then children are ruling the world? Like I would definitely not survive. I would probably be one of the first to go right? Definitely.
  3. Can I marry my dog?

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    Pretty Please?

  4. Where can I get free money?
  5.  Is there anything I can get today for free?
  6. Ok so if I can’t MARRY Sherlock, can he definitely be my best man/ring bearer/everything ever?
  7. Seriously what happened to my Hogwarts letter 14 years ago? (I have a theory but I need the truth)
  8. Why has no one revoked my speaking privileges yet? Because I really should not be allowed to talk to people. Or be in public for that matter. It’s for your own good believe me…..

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    seriously, don’t let me talk to people.

  9. WHEN IS THE NEXT TIME I CAN EAT APPLE CIDER DONUTS UNTIL I EXPLODE?
  10. Why have we not invented things that I think are way more important than whatever they are inventing now? Like time machines! And flying cars! Weren’t we like promised to have those by now? Rude. Where’s my Apple iCar or something?
  11. How on earth am I related to these people? Also do I have relatives? Who knows. haha

And that is what I spend my days doing. Thinking about really irrelevant things that make absolutely no sense or are just in no way helpful at attempting to move forward in life.

Also, I’m officially 25 now, which means I’m basically 30 which is practically the same as 40 and I’m basically dead already. Sheesh.

I am far too involved in not real life….

…..and that is seriously true to probably an unhealthy extent. haha

What I mean by “not real life” is basically TV/movies/BOOKS. Of course there are other forms of not real life, like ‘Fantasy Football’ or those weird video game cults or whatever where boys spend 19 hours a day playing video games. And I think that in all of these fantastical lives we lead separate from ourselves, most people tend to fall into the category that I am in. Far too committed for something that is actually not real life.

So like for example my last post was about books because books are the best ever and I love all the books. I’ve been reading some really excellent books recently and I find myself being seriously emotionally affected by the book I’m reading. So I just finished The Dinner by Herman Koch (another thriller/mystery….I’m really on that train these days!) and after I would read a certain section and have to stop for whatever “real life” thing I was being forced to attend to, I would still be thinking about the book. I was thinking about the characters, I was angry at of them for something they did and I was feeling like I needed to protect this other character…..things of that nature. THESE PEOPLE AREN’T REAL KELLY. But I apparently can NOT separate fiction from reality.

The same goes for TV shows. I just finished House of Cards (which seriously watch that it is so good) and oh my god I felt all those things being thrown viciously at the characters as if they were being thrown at me! So and so just revealed this huge secret about character x? WHAT AM I, Kelly in the real world, GOING TO DO TO TRY AND RECTIFY THIS SITUATION. This is what goes through my head. It’s weird, but I think most people kinda get that way? Correct me if I’m horribly wrong and this is just a personal problem that I should save for sometime when I’m laying on a couch being psychoanalyzed. It is so interesting to me though how we can fall so deeply into this other reality! I want to study this. Can the study involve me just watching Netflix all day and reading all the books ever and wearing my homeless clothes? Ok good, study is on then.

One last thought about this, that I think may prove to be an early sign of sociopathic tendencies (uh oh) is that on a lot of shows I’ve been watching recently there is a clear “bad guy” who you like at first but then over time you are all “Oh. Wow. This person is terrible. There are just secretly pretending they are a good person.” The best example I can think of would be Walter White in Breaking Bad. He starts off this dorky innocent dying teacher and becomes a murderous drug lord. So yeah, I should probably hate him. BUT NO. I keep finding myself STILL feeling sympathy for him. “He did all of it for his family!” “He was protecting Jesse until the very end!” Why do I still like the bad guys so much? I still believe in them! I still believe they are inherently good! But how can I say that as I watch a character push another person in front of a train? Somehow, in my brain, I’m thinking “That was truly awful, but maybe he had to?” What is wrong with me?

So if in 15 years I’m on the news for being a psycho/crazed lunatic, perhaps show them this. I feel like this can’t be a good sign….

Anyone else feel any love for the bad guys? My guess is no. haha

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I want this.

This is a REAL LIFE goal of mine

So it’s no secret I LOVE free stuff. I don’t even care what it is, if it’s free I’ll take it I don’t care.

And every so often I go through a period of OBSESSIVELY entering as many giveaways as possible in the hopes that MAYBE I’ll win something (FREE!)

Because, true life: My real goal in all of life is to WIN something.

I’m not even a little bit joking.

The only thing I have ever won in my entire life was when I was about 9 years old. It was parents night at Heldeberg Workshp, and if you happened to go there, you may remember that there was always a raffle on parents night. And one year, I became obsessed with (of all things), a walking stick. I HAD to have it. It was beautiful, hand carved, apparently really necessary in my life and I wanted to win it so badly. I begged and pleaded for tickets to entire the raffle and my mom maybe bought me like 5 or something and I put all my hopes and dreams in those 5 tickets and waited to feel the excitement of holding the walking stick in my hand, triumphant.

Well, do to some luck, probably the fact that not very many people had entered the raffle, and the prayers of an innocent young blonde with an unfortunate set of bangs, I WON that walking stick. It was the proudest and most excited I had ever been. I walkled around with it for days, before I decided I was scared I would ruin it and so I put it in a place of honor in my room, where it has since stayed.

Since that day, the day of the walking stick, I have been hunting, searching, and waiting to experience the pure joy of winning something again. So I spend many hours of my life, doing all the necessary things to enter as many contests or giveaways as possible. That potentially may be the reason I receive so many strange emails that I don’t know why I’m receiving…. hmmm lightbulb moment there. But to no avail. Not since I was 9 have I experienced a win. I mean by law of averages you would think that by NOW something would have happened. But, unfortunately no luck.

I have no idea why it is so important for me to win something. Maybe because I never really like got any awards as a child and my inner freudian child is angry and wants to get an “award” (although, I DID come in first place in a Pumpkin Carving contest in like 5th grade, of which I am still extremely proud but did not receive a physical trophy…..). I did not grow up in the days of the “participation trophy” and so my trophy shelves remain empty and covered in dust. But maybe, just maybe, if I could win something, just once, I would feel like one of those terrible children on “Toddlers and Tiaras” and get to show off my trophy to everyone. (except they get like crowns and puppies which like isn’t even fair but don’t get me started….)

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This is an example of something that I didn’t win. Although this is also something I never attempted to win…. but still. It counts.

One week until Christmas! Done shopping yet? I thought I was in my head where everything has been done months ago but then when I ACTUALLY said out loud what I had actually physically gotten, I realized I have done nothing. WHOOPS. Better get shoppin!

Basically I’m A Ninja with Useless Super Powers.

I am not a very memorable person, I know that. I don’t have any distinctive features, I’m fairly average, nothing to write home about. So I can understand it when people don’t remember who I am. It happens all the time! When asked recently what people first notice about me I put proudly that “They don’t. I seem to appear out of nowhere most of the time as I am stealthy and quite and fairly successful at chameleon skills.” (fact).

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Tragic. But true.

This wouldn’t be a big deal at all but if it weren’t for my super powers of facial memory. I have like the exact opposite of prosopagnosia. Is that a condition? I don’t remember if prosopagnosia has a real diagnosable opposite. Well if it does I have that. For whatever reason I am really good at remembering faces. Names, not so much. Tell me your name for the first time and by the time you have finished saying it I’ve already forgotten. But I recognize faces. It would be nice if this super memory power could be put to use in a more productive fashion but what can ya do.  I also do have supersonic powers of hearing. Someone find a way to combine those things and come up with a really excellent specialized job I can do.

So yeah back to the memory thing. The reason I bring this up is that ALL the time I see people that I recognize. All the time. 95% of the time, I assume that they don’t remember who I am or don’t recognize me at all so I don’t say anything. I always look and smile and then kind of telepathically tell them “Hey, the ball’s in your court now.” And usually that’s where things end.  But recently I’ve seen people, like a family I babysat for a million years ago, an old teacher, someone I met once at an event and we really hit it off and then they were gone. And I don’t really know what the protocol is. Should I be saying “Hi” to these people? Or should I continue to just awkwardly smile and wait for them to leave so that I can go back to being invisible? I really don’t know! Because I know that if someone catches me off guard I’m always all flustered and sound like an idiot, and I don’t want to put anyone in that position. But then do people think I’m being rude by not saying anything? How do you handle this? Basically, how would a normal, functioning adult react in this situation?  Because I don’t want to be rude, but I REALLY don’t want it to be awkward when they are like “Ummmmmm I have no idea who you are but I’m going to pretend to know who you are so you don’t feel like a huge idiot for a little while.”

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This is how I assume most people internally look when they see me and have no idea who the heck I am…..

What are our thoughts on this? I’m starting to lose sleep over this. (not true)

And since my track record is super awesome lately let’s just go ahead and say Happy Thanksgiving! And Happy Hanukah, which for like the first time ever starts on Thanksgiving! Weirddddd. Hopefully I can pull myself together and write at least something before Christmas, so none of that nonsense yet. 🙂

AND FINALLY!!!!!!! A very special and belated birthday to my dear EMILY who is finally 24 as of yesterday :-).

Aren't my friends pretty? <3

Aren’t my friends pretty? ❤ HAPPY BIRTHDAY EM!!!!!!!

That’s all. Enjoy being cold today people. Unless you live somewhere where it is not like 18 degrees.

The Pumpkin Tells!!!!!

The reason that “The Pumpkin Tells” deserves to be the title of this post is because I have been sitting, for an hour, trying to remember how that song went. It’s like 5 words but I could NOT for the life of me, remember what it was or the tune or anything. So, all of the sudden I was just like “OH MY GOD THE PUMPKIN TELLS” and everything was magically better. If you don’t remember this song, or weren’t fortunate enough to experience it in elementary school music class, we like all sang the little song until the “clock struck midnight” and then the teacher told us what we were going to be. Ahhh….. Nostalgia… and pretty soon it will be time to bring back good old “Guzzle, Guzzle, Guzzle, Munch, Munch, Gobble, Gobble, Chomp!” The good old days. And also, oh my god its like November. Confused.

Nothing of interest to say, but I like fail at writing in this so I’m wingin it. Halloween is A WEEK FROM TODAY. AHHHHHHHH. Put me in charge of decorations, making the kids I babysit a really adorable little pumpkin full of fun halloween things (I’m like way too proud of it….haha), let me pick out fun accessories. BUT put ME in charge of thinking of a costume? Nope. Can’t be done. I think I am actually the worst ever at coming up with Halloween costumes. And every year, I’m like “Ok, Kelly, this is the year. We are going to think about this AHEAD of time and have an ACTUAL costume, when the time comes.” That has not happened once. I’m the girl on Halloween or the day of a costume party who is running around 2 hours before grabbing the most random crap ever and basically just put some ears on, OR I stand by my personal favorite of wearing regular clothes, sticking a name tag on, and telling people I’m on Wheel of Fortune. But THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH. This year, I am HOPING, to have a “real costume.” But then today when I realized it is Thursday, and the whole costume situation needed to pick up the pace, I panicked a bit. haha Fortunately, I have very creative friends who have given me some ideas, that I MAY actually be capable of pulling off. Because not only am I not creative, I’m not crafty. I can’t like, make things. And I’m apparently not clever when it comes to interpretation. So my options are limited.

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A Another Classic Standby, Luna Lovegood. However I think I threw out my bottle cap necklace/other accessories do to some clumsy “spillage”

Anywho, yeah. It’s Thursday. This week flew by but went extremely slowly? Does that make any sense. I mean whatever it totally makes sense to me. Like today feels like THE LONGEST DAY OF ALL TIME, but like tomorrow is Friday? Already? I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.

WELP OK. Now I shall just post some random pictures as I feel necessary because my brain is turned off for the day. Adios.

This is my brother. Who is very much alive, because SOME people didn't think he was real. Also, he is in my light. Tyra would NOT be impressed.

This is my brother. Who is very much alive, because SOME people didn’t think he was real. Also, he is in my light. Tyra would NOT be impressed.

 

 

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Awww look at my baby…. (fine. he’s 13. not a baby.)

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I thought maybe I should actually include a picture of pumpkins in a post entitled “The Pumpkin Tells”……… so yay MINI PUMPKINS

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Oh. Just awkwardly sitting on some hay. In a corner. By myself. Being Awesome.

 

OMG TGIF LOL BFF4EVA

I don’t even know how to explain what just happened with that title. Someone take away my internet privileges.

SOOOOOO GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?! This isn’t a real post. Sorry. It’s just a collection of random things that I feel like writing down. Hooray!

1. I think that someone is actually going to have to tie my hands anytime I go into a bookstore now because after last weekends LIBRARY BOOK SALE (A DOLLAR FOR A WHOLE BAG!!!!!!!!!!) I can NOT buy any more books. My “to read” pile of books I’ve bought just over the last 6 months is now well over 60 books. And those are just the ones I’ve bought. But I can’t stop myself! So someone slap me if you see me trying to buy a book. sad face.

2. I decided that it is NOT appropriate to ask your parents and random aunt and uncle you have not seen in a million years whether or not your Grandmother is still alive while at a nice dinner. Fortunately I did not actually ask, although several times they were talking about her for some reason and I REALLY wanted to know! Like is she dead? I haven’t been getting birthday checks for years, I just want answers. In other news, apparently I have relatives?

3. The bank is stupid. And probably scamming me. They charged me $55 to reorder checks! Like the boring ones with nothing on them. What??!?!? Fairly upset about that.

4. What type of shoes do I wear with my maxi skirts now that it is fall? Because I was trying one on the other day and I tried several pairs of flats but it just looked really awkward. So what is the protocol on that one?

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SO HAPPY ITS FALL!!!! I love apple picking! I may have already been twice and possibly (definitely) want to go more times!! Fall = happiness

5. (because I always have to have 5! yep, that’s still a thing) Would it be embarrassing if I wore knee pads to babysitting? Because this one child will NOT let me stand up and only always me to crawl on the hardwood floor on my knees. And it really hurts guys. Ok, yeah, he’s three and he is dictating my life but that’s because I’m a people pleaser! I can’t say no! So basically just. ow. My knees CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Well that’s all. Have a WONDERFUL weekend full of rainbows and unicorns! Or whatever else makes you happy. I don’t care. 🙂