Stop Ruining My Life Book Covers!!!!

Ok, I know that a lot of books have been turned into movies because the availability of original plot lines is practically non – existent but can we please just STOP IT with the book covers saying “Now a Major Motion Picture!” with the actors on the cover? I DO NOT WANT THAT BOOK. I want the original cover, and no mention of it being a movie. Is that really so much to ask? Just stop. Please. I’m tired of seeing LOTR books with Elijah Wood on them. If I want to buy a book, I’m buying THE BOOK, not the movie. If I want to do that, I shall do that later, on my own time. I realize this is probably completely irrelevant to everyone else on the planet, but this is just a small thing that really annoys me and therefore it must go away. The End.

This is just wrong.

This is just wrong.

AH HA! I AM NOT the only person that this bothers, look at this post and just be sad for the covers that will never be the same again….. 15 Book Covers That Make Us Sad

Amen to that fellow book lovers! 

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I just really enjoy leaving notes

I really like writing notes to people. And to myself actually… (weird). I actually wrote myself a note today in my car, giving myself an A+ for putting my jeans in the laundry while completely forgetting that a mere 10 minutes earlier I had just placed this weeks babysitting money in the back pocket. Sigh. I am particularly fond of a well placed Post – It full of wit and snark as a (hopefully pleasant?) little surprise for someone. And perhaps they do not understand the genius that is in the note, but I think I’m hilarious so who cares.

I thought of this because I am CONSTANTLY leaving notes for my parents reminding them that we STILL DO HAVE AN ANSWERING MACHINE and in the .05% chance that a non-telemarketer has called and left an important/relevant message, maybe they should umm take a listen. This is actually a fairly involved process. I’m the only one who ever checks the answering machine, because as noted above, no one seems to remember that we have that. So I hear all the messages meant for my parents and then I promptly start the process of hoping that sometime in the next 24 – 48 hours one of them figures out there is a message on the answering machine. It takes about four neon Post It’s on the ACTUAL phone/answering machine, and several leading arrows or reminders that will point them to the note covered phone which MAYBE they will read and perhaps understand a message is on the machine.

But I don’t leave normal message notes. I don’t say who called, or what there number is or really anything relevant at all. This is the  note I just left for my father:

FATHER: A person has called. They want to talk to you. BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING

please remember that your decreased work ethic is the reason

we may soon be living off food stamps and under a bridge somewhere.

If you need an agent for negotiation I am available. 

You may notice this note gives pretty much no useful information. But I love it. I think it’s great, and if he ever finds his way to the phone to listen to that message, I will just laugh alone at myself and my brilliance that no one else understands. This is probably part of the reason people think I’m insane……….

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Thank you Schuyler for posting this on facebook because it is actually my life 🙂 Completely Accurate

*If you would like a witty note left for you inquiries are welcome. However do not expect anything even close to sappy-silly-nonsense. I prefer a more sarcastic route….

I am far too involved in not real life….

…..and that is seriously true to probably an unhealthy extent. haha

What I mean by “not real life” is basically TV/movies/BOOKS. Of course there are other forms of not real life, like ‘Fantasy Football’ or those weird video game cults or whatever where boys spend 19 hours a day playing video games. And I think that in all of these fantastical lives we lead separate from ourselves, most people tend to fall into the category that I am in. Far too committed for something that is actually not real life.

So like for example my last post was about books because books are the best ever and I love all the books. I’ve been reading some really excellent books recently and I find myself being seriously emotionally affected by the book I’m reading. So I just finished The Dinner by Herman Koch (another thriller/mystery….I’m really on that train these days!) and after I would read a certain section and have to stop for whatever “real life” thing I was being forced to attend to, I would still be thinking about the book. I was thinking about the characters, I was angry at of them for something they did and I was feeling like I needed to protect this other character…..things of that nature. THESE PEOPLE AREN’T REAL KELLY. But I apparently can NOT separate fiction from reality.

The same goes for TV shows. I just finished House of Cards (which seriously watch that it is so good) and oh my god I felt all those things being thrown viciously at the characters as if they were being thrown at me! So and so just revealed this huge secret about character x? WHAT AM I, Kelly in the real world, GOING TO DO TO TRY AND RECTIFY THIS SITUATION. This is what goes through my head. It’s weird, but I think most people kinda get that way? Correct me if I’m horribly wrong and this is just a personal problem that I should save for sometime when I’m laying on a couch being psychoanalyzed. It is so interesting to me though how we can fall so deeply into this other reality! I want to study this. Can the study involve me just watching Netflix all day and reading all the books ever and wearing my homeless clothes? Ok good, study is on then.

One last thought about this, that I think may prove to be an early sign of sociopathic tendencies (uh oh) is that on a lot of shows I’ve been watching recently there is a clear “bad guy” who you like at first but then over time you are all “Oh. Wow. This person is terrible. There are just secretly pretending they are a good person.” The best example I can think of would be Walter White in Breaking Bad. He starts off this dorky innocent dying teacher and becomes a murderous drug lord. So yeah, I should probably hate him. BUT NO. I keep finding myself STILL feeling sympathy for him. “He did all of it for his family!” “He was protecting Jesse until the very end!” Why do I still like the bad guys so much? I still believe in them! I still believe they are inherently good! But how can I say that as I watch a character push another person in front of a train? Somehow, in my brain, I’m thinking “That was truly awful, but maybe he had to?” What is wrong with me?

So if in 15 years I’m on the news for being a psycho/crazed lunatic, perhaps show them this. I feel like this can’t be a good sign….

Anyone else feel any love for the bad guys? My guess is no. haha

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I want this.

If you don’t like books don’t read this

…..and also you are practically dead to me. But regardless, the following is a list of books I’ve read recently/within the past year that I absolutely recommend to anyone who likes to read. And I do this only because I love sharing wonderfulness I find in books/movies with the world!! Also now next time someone asks me for a book suggestion they may refer to this list! Soooo here are some books for a snow day like today, books I believe that we should be required to read AS HUMAN BEINGS.

1. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

yes Gone Girl was the one that got all the hype (and I did like that book quite a bit too!) but I don’t think nearly enough credit has gone to her two earlier novels. Dark Places is my favorite. I find it more mysterious and thrilling, scary and captivating than Gone Girl. Definitely not a “beach read” but an excellent psychological thriller.

2. Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline

I honestly did not know about this part of history and it is horribly fascinating and makes for a damn good book. A very nice combination of historical fiction and the present foster family system.

3. Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh

Do you like dogs? Do you like to laugh out loud? Do you miss the days of picture books? This book is for you.

4. January First by Michael Schofield

A  definite must for anyone interested in mental illness, it is written by the father of an 8 year old girl with schizophrenia. Fascinating! You may have seen them on a special on Discovery Health/TLC/other channels “Born Schizophrenic.”

5. The Glass Castle  by Jeanette Walls

So interesting! If you think your childhood was difficult, read this and then be really thankful that you did not have her childhood. I am amazed that the author and her siblings made themselves into something out of literally nothing. I really don’t think I would have been so strong. The tenacity of children is quite remarkable.

6. The Night Circus  by Erin Morgenstern

My only advice would be that if you choose to listen to this on audiobook, DO NOT under any circumstances, start this when you are alone at night because Track 1 slash the entire little intro section is just the creepiest music ever and it probably should not have been the last thing I heard before I went to bed that night. Just saying. Other than that, excellent 🙂 I want to go to The Night Circus, I’m going to believe in it’s magic and that it’s still out there…..

7. Fellow Mortals by Dennis Mahoney

When I read the back cover all I really saw was that it was about a postal worker or something and I was like umm sounds weird but I was going to read it for a book club because the author is actually from my area so yeah. ANYWAY. Point is, it is WAY more than a book about a postal worker. It is a story of love and loss and trying to make up for ones mistakes. And while it is primarily from the point of view of the mailman, I love that the author also includes everyone else that was affected, even the dog. And not in a cheesy stupid ‘oh the dog is talking now’ kind of way. Very well done.

8. Once We Were Brothers by Ronald H. Balson

There is really nothing I can say, that will do this book any justice. I will say (and this is absolutely true, not an exaggeration) I was physically unable to put this book down. The one time I did put it down because I was forced to, because I was supposed to be at work (dumb), all I did for the next several hours was talk about the book. I have not been THAT captivated by a book since the final Harry Potter book came out. So, we know I mean business! haha

I could seriously write at least 10 more and I am not pleased that I only gave y’all 8 (because 8 is not a great number but I’m doing exposure AH #teamanxiety #winning!) but I know that no one probably cares. Because we all have different tastes! So you may not like any of these! But if you find one you like, I’ll feel that my job is done.

READ ALL THE BOOKS EVER ❤ Kelly

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There is nothing better….

p.s. I realize that there seems to be (with one clear exception) a theme in this list of fairly dark/serious/emotional books and I do want people to know that I do read fluffy shit too. And all other kinds of books. I’m not just like this weird dark and twisty evil book lover. At least, I don’t think I am…..

Stuck in a Rut

So it appears that I seem to be stuck in a rut.

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See that, I’m in that car.

And a pretty large one at that…..And it is in every part of my life! I clearly have not updated this in 1000 million years. My health and fitness “progress?” seems to have stalled if not backslid a bit. Job prospects, not looking good. Especially after my last interview! THAT was awful. I don’t really know what it is exactly that I WANT to do. And so, for some reason, I can’t find the motivation to do something to change all that.

The thing is, I know what I need to do to get out of some of these ruts. But I can’t for some reason. But in other cases, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! And I’m wedged in pretty tight, so what would you do to get out of a complete “life rut” for lack of an actual term? Or what can I do to get myself motivated?! I would appreciate any suggestions. Cause in addition to the whole stuck in a hole thing it does appear that I have lost roughly 1/3 of any intelligence I may have had at some point. I am definitely getting dumber…. rough times people.

WELP lets not make this ALL depressing and about my sad sad existence. haha Today is Veteran’s Day (which people should really remember everyday) so a huge ‘Thank You’ to all those who have served, are serving, and will serve.

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Hello Brother. This is what you look like from the back.

And here are some fun facts/discoveries/random things that I have acquired recently.

  1. Did you know that only 2% of the ENTIRE WORLDS POPULATION is naturally a redhead? I just find that randomly interesting.
  2. Trader Joe’s sells GREETING CARDS????? And they are awesome! and I may have gotten like 9 of them….I’m stocking up on cards these days. I like having them on hand because I LOVE sending people mail sooo now its easier because I have so many cards to choose from right from my room!
  3. Oh my god, over the weekend I completely made over my bookcase. Because of every single book sale in a 50 mile radius I have come to possess more books than I could ever imagine. This has made for a very large problem with storage. So until this weekend, I just had bags and bags of books piling up in front of the bookcase and it was disastrous. But I took charge and put all my books on the floor (except my Top Shelf books obviously, I knew those wouldn’t change) and picked the books most worthy of placement on the shelf. And then I alphabetized them as is necessary on my bookcase, and I put the rest of the books under my bed so that I can still see the titles so that I do have easy access. Anyway, it was a really proud moment for the gigantic nerd in me.
  4. Kangaroos can’t jump backward!
  5. I have forgotten every single thing that has happened in the past like 10 weeks all of the sudden and I don’t have really anything interesting to say because my life is way boring.
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Is my school not SO BEAUTIFUL! I miss that place….

Adios Kiddos! Help me get out of the cement I seem to be stuck in!!!!

The Pumpkin Tells!!!!!

The reason that “The Pumpkin Tells” deserves to be the title of this post is because I have been sitting, for an hour, trying to remember how that song went. It’s like 5 words but I could NOT for the life of me, remember what it was or the tune or anything. So, all of the sudden I was just like “OH MY GOD THE PUMPKIN TELLS” and everything was magically better. If you don’t remember this song, or weren’t fortunate enough to experience it in elementary school music class, we like all sang the little song until the “clock struck midnight” and then the teacher told us what we were going to be. Ahhh….. Nostalgia… and pretty soon it will be time to bring back good old “Guzzle, Guzzle, Guzzle, Munch, Munch, Gobble, Gobble, Chomp!” The good old days. And also, oh my god its like November. Confused.

Nothing of interest to say, but I like fail at writing in this so I’m wingin it. Halloween is A WEEK FROM TODAY. AHHHHHHHH. Put me in charge of decorations, making the kids I babysit a really adorable little pumpkin full of fun halloween things (I’m like way too proud of it….haha), let me pick out fun accessories. BUT put ME in charge of thinking of a costume? Nope. Can’t be done. I think I am actually the worst ever at coming up with Halloween costumes. And every year, I’m like “Ok, Kelly, this is the year. We are going to think about this AHEAD of time and have an ACTUAL costume, when the time comes.” That has not happened once. I’m the girl on Halloween or the day of a costume party who is running around 2 hours before grabbing the most random crap ever and basically just put some ears on, OR I stand by my personal favorite of wearing regular clothes, sticking a name tag on, and telling people I’m on Wheel of Fortune. But THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH. This year, I am HOPING, to have a “real costume.” But then today when I realized it is Thursday, and the whole costume situation needed to pick up the pace, I panicked a bit. haha Fortunately, I have very creative friends who have given me some ideas, that I MAY actually be capable of pulling off. Because not only am I not creative, I’m not crafty. I can’t like, make things. And I’m apparently not clever when it comes to interpretation. So my options are limited.

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A Another Classic Standby, Luna Lovegood. However I think I threw out my bottle cap necklace/other accessories do to some clumsy “spillage”

Anywho, yeah. It’s Thursday. This week flew by but went extremely slowly? Does that make any sense. I mean whatever it totally makes sense to me. Like today feels like THE LONGEST DAY OF ALL TIME, but like tomorrow is Friday? Already? I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.

WELP OK. Now I shall just post some random pictures as I feel necessary because my brain is turned off for the day. Adios.

This is my brother. Who is very much alive, because SOME people didn't think he was real. Also, he is in my light. Tyra would NOT be impressed.

This is my brother. Who is very much alive, because SOME people didn’t think he was real. Also, he is in my light. Tyra would NOT be impressed.

 

 

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Awww look at my baby…. (fine. he’s 13. not a baby.)

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I thought maybe I should actually include a picture of pumpkins in a post entitled “The Pumpkin Tells”……… so yay MINI PUMPKINS

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Oh. Just awkwardly sitting on some hay. In a corner. By myself. Being Awesome.

 

A Weekend in Pictures

I’m too lazy to actually write about what went on this weekend mainly because it is so dark and gloomy and while we survived the “very real scary tornado warning” and I’m not ACTUALLY sure if its raining at the moment, it is just feeling like a curl up in my bed, watch an absolutely ridiculous amount of Netflix, and drink tea. So this is my weekend, in pictures, with some comment for clarification.

FRIDAY:

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So you have to use a little imagination here… PRETEND, this is a beautifully painted picture of Fall Scenery that was painted by NONE OTHER than ME

So what I ACTUALLY did on Friday was I went with my Mother to Saratoga Paint and Sip, but the NEW one in Latham!!! Which I quite liked, the bathroom was painted in chalk paint and they had a little bowl of chalk and I just thought that was really cute. I may be the only person that goes to Paint and Sip who ABSOLUTELY SUCKS at art but I still think its so fun. So do my paintings come out very well? NO. Am I the failure of the class and the one the instructors are always like, “Well… you did your best! And it was fun, right?” Yes. But seriously it is really fun anyone around the 518 should definitely check it out!

Fun to do, even if you are as good as art as I am!!! 

SATURDAY:

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Wolfs Biergarten Oktoberfest Block PARTYYYY!!

Pretty self explanatory. Oktoberfest. Gigantic things of Beer. Beautiful day outside. Rollerskating women carrying gigantic sticks with pretzels. A possible? cross-dresser making dirty balloon hats from the air pump cleverly positioned (and I apologize for such vulgarity on this website… 🙂 ) at her nipple.  Oh and the best part, Weiner Dog Racing.

SUNDAY:

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Ahhhh Proctors…Such a magical place….

Well. On Sunday. I had this special backstage tour of Proctors Theater, which is a gorgeous place to begin with but OH MY GOD. The whole tour I was just slightly hyperventilating. Like just standing on the stage and possibly pretending I was the star of a huge show, was incredible. My favorite was going into the dressing rooms. Because a while ago someone was like.. “Ummm guys, these dressing rooms tables are super boring” and SO now someone decorates/paints/just makes the table really cool for each show that comes to Proctors and after the whole cast/crew signs the table. Like SO COOL. And some of them were so well done.

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No one mourns the wicked….

 So yeah, it was awesome. Also if you live around here and you DON’T take advantage of Proctors slash ALL of the amazing theater and art and everything around here you are missing out… soooo go there. They have cool stuff guys. Seriously!

Best Place EVER!

And THAT was my weekend in a nutshell! Well the exciting bits. I don’t think you really needed to see the like nine million other parts of my weekend where I was completely catching up on HIMYM or yelling at the online class I need to take for the volunteer thing or drunkenly telling strangers that I know who they are through social media (why? Why, Kelly? Why?)

Hope you all made it through Monday! Tell me when it’s Friday please.

Either Obsessed or Ambivalent

Once upon a time there was an acquaintance of mine who seemed to always fall victim to the latest craze. As one trend became popular, she would become enamored and invested to a point which I, at the time, thought was actually crazy. For her it was always like pretty mainstream things like, for instance, The Jonas Brothers or like, I don’t know maybe some popular guilty pleasure TV show like Pretty Little Liars. Whatever, it could be anything really. But I noticed that this particular person would completely absorb themselves into that culture and it became their identity. At the time I just thought she was nuts. Not to say I wasn’t obsessed with stuff myself! I mean, I did every single animal report ever on Otters and if I took a picture of my room right now, over 75% of the things in this room have otters on them. But for some reason it always seemed weird to me that someone could be SO OBSESSED with something for one minute, and then just move on to the next thing that would temporarily take over their lives.

Within the past couple of years though I have noticed a similar trend in myself. Not so much the “going with what’s popular in the moment and then moving on” aspect but in the “PURE OBSESSION” aspect. For me, I don’t just “like” something. I either love it and know everything about it ever, or I really don’t care that much at all. There is barely a middle ground for me. Is that weird? I feel like it is. I feel like most people could be like, “Oh yeah I saw that movie it was good.” and move on with their lives. That person, is not me.

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Accurate

Example. This happens a LOT to me with books and TV shows. That’s why I hate the question “What’s your favorite book/TV show/movie/band” because it honestly really depends on the minute. Anyway, so a friend recommended to me that I watch the TV series Orphan Black since I had gotten into the BBC thing with my obsession with Downton Abbey. Within 48 hours I had finished the entire season of Orphan Black, researched like every aspect about it online, and proclaimed it my new favorite show. This cycle would be repeated just last week with Orange is the New Black. Once I “like” something, I need it and I need all of it and I need it NOW.

This is why it is hard for me to understand people sometimes. I am sort of crazy about Harry Potter and so when a new book came out I literally would not move/stop reading until I finished the book (which I can proudly say were all finished within one days time. winner) People would say logical things like “Oh I wanted to savor it, really take my time.” That makes complete logical sense. But like to me, it’s more like… WHAT?!?!? Are you crazy? I can’t get enough! How can I possibly live my life not knowing what happens in the next chapter, or the next??? So I HAVE to read it all in one sitting or I literally will not be able to function.

On the other end of the spectrum, I generally feel like if I don’t really love something, than I could probably care less. Unfortunately as I sit here, immersed in my love for so many random things, I’m having a hard time coming up with a good example of the opposite, however I can recall myself saying “Oh my god I haaaaaatttttteeee that” when in reality it just wasn’t my new favorite thing. Ok its really making me mad that I can’t think of an example right now and it is actually driving me crazy. Crap. Boooooo.

In summation, I think that I used to think I was NOT a typical fan girl because my obsessions were not always the “it thing” of popular culture at the moment, which obviously made ME different. But that’s so not true! I am just as crazy as everyone else! Sure my poison my not be Justin Beiber (um ew) but get me started on my current favorite book and I act like a lunatic! So, to the girl in high school who I couldn’t understand, I apologize. We are no different. She’s actually probably better than me, because when she loves something its probably universally loved. But me, I always go out on a limb for something a little different.

I literally took over 200 low quality pictures of otters

ImageAnd that one up there is one of the better ones. Keep THAT in mind. haha

So a week ago today I started what would end up being a very very long, exhausting, emotional, and rewarding trip. The destination? Atlanta, Georgia. Being from upstate NY, the most logical mode of transportation would be plane, right? Well, according to SOME people (my mother) it was going to be SUPER fun to drive all the way from Albany to Atlanta. This is not exactly my idea of fun. I mean I like a good road trip, but I don’t know, just me and my mom trapped in a car for 9+ hours a day for several days just didn’t seem that great to me. I was fairly unexcited, especially since there were like several things my mom wanted to do along the way which would just make the trip longer and longer and I was almost positive if I made it to Atlanta alive it would be a true miracle.

So we drove the first day down to Roanoke, VA which was slightly torturous except for the part where we stopped at the outlets. The next day we drove on the Skyline Drive through the Shenandoah Mountains which is basically Thatcher Park, on crack. Like I want to live there. Sadly, I was disappointed by a lack of bears even though the lady at the booth said we might see some. Rude.

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After driving a little ways down through the mountains, we stopped at the Lurray Caverns which are the 4th largest caverns in the US? The world? Something, I don’t know. This time, think Howe Caverns, but 1000000 times bigger. While I was ultimately happy we went there I was originally terrified because I was convinced I was going to get trapped underground or like pierced by a stalactite/mite whatever thingy. Fortunately, I escaped unscathed.

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like what if that fell on my head?

Anyway, so we ultimately made it to Atlanta yadda yadda yadda had a crazy weekend that was literally at every end of every spectrum ever (That’s for another time) and then, it was just over. I hate that! Isn’t it so strange when something just abruptly ends like that? I’m still not over it haha. So anyway, I knew I was going to need to console myself because I was all sad and what not, so I looked at the website for the Georgia Aquarium which was only a few blocks from the hotel and saw, to my great delight that SEA OTTER FEEDING WAS at 3:30!!!! I knew what had to be done. I marched myself straight down to that aquarium, waited in line for like 12 hours (ok maybe 30 minutes) and literally, RAN to the sea otter exhibit. I know you are probably thinking, noooo she probably didn’t really run. Well you would be wrong. Because I did. When I got there, there was already a huge crowd but I pushed my fat ass up to the front right in time to watch them start throwing food to the otters and the otters were doing tricks and it was just all too much. Within 5 minutes of arriving at the exhibit I was crying. THAT right there, is how much I love otters. The literally bring me to tears. So people around me were like staring (whatever, over it) but I would overhear someone say like “Oh my god, otters are so cute, I want one!” and I was like, ummmm no. You don’t get one. You haven’t DEDICATED YOUR LIFE to otters. Are you at this exhibit crying with joy right now? No. Please go away. Anyway, so I stayed there for like 45 minutes before the person working the exhibit started giving me hints it was time to move on. So I wandered around the rest of the aquarium which, honestly it is really cool. Totally recommend it. So I was going through the last room, when what do I find? RIVER OTTERS. I made a sound that cannot be described in words. This was fortunately less crowded, so I spent roughly another 45 minutes watching the 5 precious tiny little river otters play and kiss each other and it was so cute. Again, there were tears. And I took soooo many more pictures of the river otters because they stayed in one place longer than the sea otters did. I kept taking picture after picture after picture until my phone literally just died. I knew then, it was probably time to leave. And also it was like 6 which is when they were closing and I was kind of forced out. Rude.ImageMoral of the longest and most boring story ever, is that I legitimately need to own a pet otter (or 50) because it makes me so incredibly happy. I mean, I always knew I loved otters but as I stood there sobbing I knew, that owning a pet otter was no longer a dream, but a necessity.

**To support the “Kelly Needs a Pet Otter” Fund, please contact me for details. It’s a real charity, I swear.

But when are we seriously going to get our act together on this time travel thing?

Happy 5th of July! Hope everyone had a nice and fun 4th and didn’t end up burned to a crisp like I did. That’s what I get for falling asleep outside in direct sunlight with no sunscreen on. Sigh. I never learn. So today is painful. Like walking, is hard. Not so much a fan. And although today would probably be another great pool day, I think I’m going to skip that today. Also, if you saw the weather this morning or look online it literally just says “Oppressive.” I’ll stick with air conditioning thank you very much.

I don’t really know what got me thinking about the topic of this blog, but I thought about it a couple days ago and my crazy imagination just went to town. Basically here’s the deal. Back in the 80s and 90s like how many movies were made about having the ability to time travel? Roughly a million (*that may not be a factual statistic hard to say). But seriously, Back to the Future? Right? Like we are supposed to have the technology to time travel by now. And I think it is simply criminal that we don’t! We have figured out how to have a car parallel park itself and developed innovations like the “Pizza Pizzazz” but we can’t like figure out time travel? Really? That’s appalling.

Now I’m not talking just simply “turning back time” like in Harry Potter. I mean that would have been nice too but all those time turners were destroyed at the Ministry of Magic so we are out of luck there. No, I want like full out going back into a totally different era. As a kid I always fantasized about living in different time periods. Coupled with my obsession with the “Dear America” books, “Magic Attic Club”,  Oregon Trail, and American Girl dolls I thought about this allllllll the time. So I have lots of stories that I made up as a kid of me living in different centuries, different countries, etc etc. And now, at 24, I think its time something is done about this!

Think about it. How cool would it be to go back to the Medieval Ages or be a Pilgrim or a crazy flapper girl of the 20s? And the weird part is, I don’t even want to go back to “just the good parts.” I want to know what it was like living through the depression. I want to experience growing up in the 1800s and working all day. I want to walk across the country to Oregon for the possibility of a new beginning. Not saying the good parts are a no go, just saying I really wish I could experience it all. And while I can read all I want about history, it could never compare to knowing that feeling, that experience of truly living a different life.

The point is, I am not smart and so I need someone with actual intelligence to start making me a time machine. And make it snappy. I personally don’t think enough of our resources are going towards time travel research. Like, maybe we could take a break on improving cell phones and focus on a time machine for a bit? Maybe? I think people would be happier. And its educational soooo I am not understanding why this isn’t a priority. Since I’m such an important person I’m sure the government is on the edge of their seats waiting to see what I’ll say next, so as soon as they see this they will get right on my time machine. But if they are “too busy” or whatever I challenge anyone else to make me a time machine. I will let you ride in it! I just think that its 2013 and it is practically unbelievable that we can’t time travel. I want to change that. Well, I want someone else to change that so I can benefit from it. Really, I’m just looking out for people everywhere.

Hopefully next time I’ll see you we could ACTUALLY party like its 1776!