Either Obsessed or Ambivalent

Once upon a time there was an acquaintance of mine who seemed to always fall victim to the latest craze. As one trend became popular, she would become enamored and invested to a point which I, at the time, thought was actually crazy. For her it was always like pretty mainstream things like, for instance, The Jonas Brothers or like, I don’t know maybe some popular guilty pleasure TV show like Pretty Little Liars. Whatever, it could be anything really. But I noticed that this particular person would completely absorb themselves into that culture and it became their identity. At the time I just thought she was nuts. Not to say I wasn’t obsessed with stuff myself! I mean, I did every single animal report ever on Otters and if I took a picture of my room right now, over 75% of the things in this room have otters on them. But for some reason it always seemed weird to me that someone could be SO OBSESSED with something for one minute, and then just move on to the next thing that would temporarily take over their lives.

Within the past couple of years though I have noticed a similar trend in myself. Not so much the “going with what’s popular in the moment and then moving on” aspect but in the “PURE OBSESSION” aspect. For me, I don’t just “like” something. I either love it and know everything about it ever, or I really don’t care that much at all. There is barely a middle ground for me. Is that weird? I feel like it is. I feel like most people could be like, “Oh yeah I saw that movie it was good.” and move on with their lives. That person, is not me.

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Accurate

Example. This happens a LOT to me with books and TV shows. That’s why I hate the question “What’s your favorite book/TV show/movie/band” because it honestly really depends on the minute. Anyway, so a friend recommended to me that I watch the TV series Orphan Black since I had gotten into the BBC thing with my obsession with Downton Abbey. Within 48 hours I had finished the entire season of Orphan Black, researched like every aspect about it online, and proclaimed it my new favorite show. This cycle would be repeated just last week with Orange is the New Black. Once I “like” something, I need it and I need all of it and I need it NOW.

This is why it is hard for me to understand people sometimes. I am sort of crazy about Harry Potter and so when a new book came out I literally would not move/stop reading until I finished the book (which I can proudly say were all finished within one days time. winner) People would say logical things like “Oh I wanted to savor it, really take my time.” That makes complete logical sense. But like to me, it’s more like… WHAT?!?!? Are you crazy? I can’t get enough! How can I possibly live my life not knowing what happens in the next chapter, or the next??? So I HAVE to read it all in one sitting or I literally will not be able to function.

On the other end of the spectrum, I generally feel like if I don’t really love something, than I could probably care less. Unfortunately as I sit here, immersed in my love for so many random things, I’m having a hard time coming up with a good example of the opposite, however I can recall myself saying “Oh my god I haaaaaatttttteeee that” when in reality it just wasn’t my new favorite thing. Ok its really making me mad that I can’t think of an example right now and it is actually driving me crazy. Crap. Boooooo.

In summation, I think that I used to think I was NOT a typical fan girl because my obsessions were not always the “it thing” of popular culture at the moment, which obviously made ME different. But that’s so not true! I am just as crazy as everyone else! Sure my poison my not be Justin Beiber (um ew) but get me started on my current favorite book and I act like a lunatic! So, to the girl in high school who I couldn’t understand, I apologize. We are no different. She’s actually probably better than me, because when she loves something its probably universally loved. But me, I always go out on a limb for something a little different.

I literally took over 200 low quality pictures of otters

ImageAnd that one up there is one of the better ones. Keep THAT in mind. haha

So a week ago today I started what would end up being a very very long, exhausting, emotional, and rewarding trip. The destination? Atlanta, Georgia. Being from upstate NY, the most logical mode of transportation would be plane, right? Well, according to SOME people (my mother) it was going to be SUPER fun to drive all the way from Albany to Atlanta. This is not exactly my idea of fun. I mean I like a good road trip, but I don’t know, just me and my mom trapped in a car for 9+ hours a day for several days just didn’t seem that great to me. I was fairly unexcited, especially since there were like several things my mom wanted to do along the way which would just make the trip longer and longer and I was almost positive if I made it to Atlanta alive it would be a true miracle.

So we drove the first day down to Roanoke, VA which was slightly torturous except for the part where we stopped at the outlets. The next day we drove on the Skyline Drive through the Shenandoah Mountains which is basically Thatcher Park, on crack. Like I want to live there. Sadly, I was disappointed by a lack of bears even though the lady at the booth said we might see some. Rude.

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After driving a little ways down through the mountains, we stopped at the Lurray Caverns which are the 4th largest caverns in the US? The world? Something, I don’t know. This time, think Howe Caverns, but 1000000 times bigger. While I was ultimately happy we went there I was originally terrified because I was convinced I was going to get trapped underground or like pierced by a stalactite/mite whatever thingy. Fortunately, I escaped unscathed.

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like what if that fell on my head?

Anyway, so we ultimately made it to Atlanta yadda yadda yadda had a crazy weekend that was literally at every end of every spectrum ever (That’s for another time) and then, it was just over. I hate that! Isn’t it so strange when something just abruptly ends like that? I’m still not over it haha. So anyway, I knew I was going to need to console myself because I was all sad and what not, so I looked at the website for the Georgia Aquarium which was only a few blocks from the hotel and saw, to my great delight that SEA OTTER FEEDING WAS at 3:30!!!! I knew what had to be done. I marched myself straight down to that aquarium, waited in line for like 12 hours (ok maybe 30 minutes) and literally, RAN to the sea otter exhibit. I know you are probably thinking, noooo she probably didn’t really run. Well you would be wrong. Because I did. When I got there, there was already a huge crowd but I pushed my fat ass up to the front right in time to watch them start throwing food to the otters and the otters were doing tricks and it was just all too much. Within 5 minutes of arriving at the exhibit I was crying. THAT right there, is how much I love otters. The literally bring me to tears. So people around me were like staring (whatever, over it) but I would overhear someone say like “Oh my god, otters are so cute, I want one!” and I was like, ummmm no. You don’t get one. You haven’t DEDICATED YOUR LIFE to otters. Are you at this exhibit crying with joy right now? No. Please go away. Anyway, so I stayed there for like 45 minutes before the person working the exhibit started giving me hints it was time to move on. So I wandered around the rest of the aquarium which, honestly it is really cool. Totally recommend it. So I was going through the last room, when what do I find? RIVER OTTERS. I made a sound that cannot be described in words. This was fortunately less crowded, so I spent roughly another 45 minutes watching the 5 precious tiny little river otters play and kiss each other and it was so cute. Again, there were tears. And I took soooo many more pictures of the river otters because they stayed in one place longer than the sea otters did. I kept taking picture after picture after picture until my phone literally just died. I knew then, it was probably time to leave. And also it was like 6 which is when they were closing and I was kind of forced out. Rude.ImageMoral of the longest and most boring story ever, is that I legitimately need to own a pet otter (or 50) because it makes me so incredibly happy. I mean, I always knew I loved otters but as I stood there sobbing I knew, that owning a pet otter was no longer a dream, but a necessity.

**To support the “Kelly Needs a Pet Otter” Fund, please contact me for details. It’s a real charity, I swear.

And this is why I need to rethink my priorities

I am definitely not a normal person. Meaning, I think I would happily categorize myself as a nerd slash social outcast slash awkward person. I don’t know. Point is, I’m super special. I have a tattoo in Elvish on my foot. Harry Potter is the closest thing I know to religion. I have cried more over the plight of fictional characters than I ever have about anything in my own life. It upsets me that Starbucks/Barnes and Noble/other coffee places aren’t open 24/7 so I can just go there and be awesome and alone. My favorite part of school has always been buying school supplies. To this day I agonize over choosing the perfect pen and I love getting new highlighters and sharpies. Almost the entirety of my free time is spent doing research on really random topics. Or sometimes not so random (aka, I really need to move on from the otter thing but that’s never going to happen!). And of course, I’d rather go to see a show at the theater than a movie. So yes I’m a little different. But that’s how I like it. There are times however, when I realize how lame I really am sometimes. Today was one of them.

I should also mention that what occurred today has in fact happened before. Last time it was just a weird kind of awkward thing, but today I was like…. umm need to rethink some priorities here Kelly! Basically, as most of you know, the library is the best place on earth. FREE BOOKS?!?! Like are you kidding?? That is heaven. So yes, I totally take advantage of the library! I don’t know why more people don’t. Daily I think of new movies, CDs, and books that I want to check out and then I request them from the library. So my request list is usually pretty long, but because I am sadly not the most important person in the entire world, sometimes it takes a while to get what I want. Today however, the library called me because I had too many books on hold at the library and they didn’t have enough room to store them all. Again, this is not the first time this has happened to me. I think the experience is so humiliating because the library staff are totally judgmental when you get to this point. As she stood there scanning each book, she just shook her head, repeatedly saying “You’re not going to be able to do it” under her breath. And I was like Hey! Give me a chance! I mean in all reality she is probably right, I’m not going to finish all of them before they need to go back, but she could at least encourage me to try! Jerks!

The point of that randomly long and pointless little story is that if I put as much effort into something more self – improving, I would probably not be where I am right now. It seems as if my priorities and energy are being directed mostly at the library these days. And while reading is obviously great, considering the present situation, my time might be better used elsewhere. But what on earth could I do that would ever be as much fun as carrying bags of free books out of the library? Riddle me that.Imagethe above picture is of me in Hawaii on the day Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince came out, at like 7 in the morning. I did not move much that day.