I’d rather be happy

If you know anything about me at all, you know that I am ridiculously obsessed with free stuff. I spend hours researching free activities, entering contests, trying to get free money, etc., etc., so the following might seem a BIT out of character. Do not be too alarmed. (I still like free stuff don’t worry).

This is something that I have always kind of lived by, but today it really like hit me in the face for absolutely no discernible reason. Another contradiction that I am a walking example of is that I like to do new things, try and have unique experiences and take advantage of what I can do while I can! Of course at the same time, I’m like terrified of trying new things, but in the end, to me the experience is always worth it.

So what hit me today was that I would rather be happy than “rich.” Ok I know that sounds cliche and stupid. So let me explain. This week I spent $70.00 at bookstores. Some people may think that is absurd when I already have a zillion books and the pile of “to-read” books is getting taller than I am, but finding a book, picking it up and imagining the possibilities within it? That’s thrilling to me! Finding really random kitchy things that I don’t really need or something I find really funny, I love that. I want to buy all of it. I don’t care if other people think it’s a waste of money or if people think I’m crazy, it’s something that really makes me happy.

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True Story

I feel the same way about spending a little extra money to go do something that I know I truly enjoy. Or to try something I’ve always wanted to do. I know that pretty much everyone else does not share this opinion. Especially as someone in their mid-twenties, the main focus for so many people my age is money. And I totally understand, I know that I have to (and I do) save money for school and for bills and for rent and for becoming a “real adult.” And it might seem irresponsible for me to write this, especially since I work 3 fake jobs and make very little money, but I save almost all of it so why shouldn’t I spend a little more to do things that make me happy. Would I like to have a good job and a really solid savings account and enough money to be a “real adult”? Absolutely, I’d love that! But that isn’t my reality right now, so while I can I want to try new things. I want to go out for a fancy dinner or go to a play or try  a random kayaking adventure.

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So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past several years, well really ever since high school. Unfortunately I remain alone in this venture, because my friends are sensible real adults who have real lives to worry about! So I’m awkward loner in the corner at a random event, or literally the only person who goes to like a Paint/Drink place alone, but I enjoy it. I don’t like blow all my money on some crazy vacation that I’ll never be able to pay off or something like that, but I will spend a little more if I know that even for just a few hours, I will get to enjoy my life. I may never be a rich woman, but I won’t regret doing what makes me happy.

Happy Weekend!

This is a REAL LIFE goal of mine

So it’s no secret I LOVE free stuff. I don’t even care what it is, if it’s free I’ll take it I don’t care.

And every so often I go through a period of OBSESSIVELY entering as many giveaways as possible in the hopes that MAYBE I’ll win something (FREE!)

Because, true life: My real goal in all of life is to WIN something.

I’m not even a little bit joking.

The only thing I have ever won in my entire life was when I was about 9 years old. It was parents night at Heldeberg Workshp, and if you happened to go there, you may remember that there was always a raffle on parents night. And one year, I became obsessed with (of all things), a walking stick. I HAD to have it. It was beautiful, hand carved, apparently really necessary in my life and I wanted to win it so badly. I begged and pleaded for tickets to entire the raffle and my mom maybe bought me like 5 or something and I put all my hopes and dreams in those 5 tickets and waited to feel the excitement of holding the walking stick in my hand, triumphant.

Well, do to some luck, probably the fact that not very many people had entered the raffle, and the prayers of an innocent young blonde with an unfortunate set of bangs, I WON that walking stick. It was the proudest and most excited I had ever been. I walkled around with it for days, before I decided I was scared I would ruin it and so I put it in a place of honor in my room, where it has since stayed.

Since that day, the day of the walking stick, I have been hunting, searching, and waiting to experience the pure joy of winning something again. So I spend many hours of my life, doing all the necessary things to enter as many contests or giveaways as possible. That potentially may be the reason I receive so many strange emails that I don’t know why I’m receiving…. hmmm lightbulb moment there. But to no avail. Not since I was 9 have I experienced a win. I mean by law of averages you would think that by NOW something would have happened. But, unfortunately no luck.

I have no idea why it is so important for me to win something. Maybe because I never really like got any awards as a child and my inner freudian child is angry and wants to get an “award” (although, I DID come in first place in a Pumpkin Carving contest in like 5th grade, of which I am still extremely proud but did not receive a physical trophy…..). I did not grow up in the days of the “participation trophy” and so my trophy shelves remain empty and covered in dust. But maybe, just maybe, if I could win something, just once, I would feel like one of those terrible children on “Toddlers and Tiaras” and get to show off my trophy to everyone. (except they get like crowns and puppies which like isn’t even fair but don’t get me started….)

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This is an example of something that I didn’t win. Although this is also something I never attempted to win…. but still. It counts.

One week until Christmas! Done shopping yet? I thought I was in my head where everything has been done months ago but then when I ACTUALLY said out loud what I had actually physically gotten, I realized I have done nothing. WHOOPS. Better get shoppin!