If you think about it, it is actually completely justifiable

this is a picture of a person in a blue panda suit just because. You’re welcome. ImageOk so recently I have been setting a lot of “rules” for myself. Mostly because I looked at my bank account for the first time in like a month and screamed. I’ve always been careful with my money, but I also used to have absolutely no problem spending it. I mean, that’s what its there for right? But in these troubling times where my weekly medical bill is over $500 out of pocket, I realized that perhaps maybe I might want to rethink the necessity of certain things. Aka, maybe not eat out every single day of the week.

So with that in mind, I made some rules. No more buying coffee when you can make it at home (although I’m trying to give up caffeine altogether! kill me), no going out to lunch every single day when there is perfectly good food at home, and the most difficult rule, no more buying clothes unless they are legitimately necessary. I set my limitations around June 25 and for like 3 days I did AWESOME. I didn’t buy anything! I was so proud! But like, it was practically torture passing a Starbucks. Anyway, point is I was really proud and I was so hopeful for the future for like a day.

But then…… I got an email from one of the many discount clothing websites I get emails from and on July 1st there was going to be a Lilly Pulitzer sale. And I couldn’t resist. So July 1st at 11:00am while I was at work I broke the rules. I just went to TOWN buying things that I DO NOT NEED. But it was so fun and gave me a rush of adrenaline and it was awesome. So of course I was thinking, “hmmm well why stop now?!” so I decided to buy some Groupons, I signed up for a 5K, bought some more clothes, etc. etc. Whoops. Whatever, I was happy right?

So the next day I’m just hanging out online as per the usual and I notice that because I bought that Lilly stuff, I get free shipping on that website for 30 days. In my head, this translated to “Oh my god I have to buy so much more stuff to take advantage of this free shipping while I have it!!!!! What a GOOD DEAL!!!!!” Sooo what did I do? Buy more things. Specifically a bathing suit that I literally already have the exact same one in the same color and everything but this one was free shipping so I had to get it. That’s just how it works. And if you think about it, I’m really just saving money because everything I bought was already on sale and then there was the free shipping situation and like, I neeeeeed a bathing suit. And it will last me a while. These are all the things I tell myself as I hit the checkout button.

Of course some normal person would see this and be like, “yeah you crazy”, which is actually pretty accurate, but to me it all makes perfect sense! Yes, I have no money but if you buy things on sale you basically aren’t spending money. And when you buy things online that’s not real, right? That’s how that works? That’s how it works if you ask me!

And once the money spending rule was broken, a mere 5 days after it had been set in stone, I was an expert at justifying all sorts of things. Like giving up caffeine for example. What I wrote in my contract with myself was that I would give up coffee and soda. So for lunch I had Red Bull, which is NOT coffee or soda! Not breaking the rules! See what I did there? Same sort of thing with the not eating out daily. I am not a big breakfast person so I don’t really consider that a meal per se sooooo if I buy like a muffin or a bagel that’s not REALLY eating out because its just breakfast and that doesn’t count. Oh and ice cream and froyo never count. Just because they don’t. They don’t have calories in them either so basically those are freebies in all cases. haha Told you my sense of reality was a bit warped.

Anyway, the point is, I just think it is really funny how I can justify almost anything to myself. And I’m sure a lot of people must do that too? Or am I just some crazy person? I mean that would not be a shocker but I just thought a lot about how so often I will “break my rules” but then I make it ok by some bullshit explanation that doesn’t even make logical sense. I find that fascinating. So as of today, I’m getting back on the wagon! Time to try to follow the “rules” a bit better. But if I slip up, you can bet I had a good reason.

Business Proposals: Part 1

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As I have mentioned before, or you just may have guessed this for yourself, but I have somewhat of a wild imagination. I think of a lot of strange things that the majority of people would probably not ever think about. For instance, when I was little, every time I went on a plane I had this weird fantasy land idea that the seat I was sitting in, that tiny little space on the plane, was all I had in the world. Like, my backpack had all my possessions and I had to live just in that seat for the rest of my life. Why? Who thinks that? No one. Kids with problems… and we all know how my story ends.

Anyway, I’m getting off track. The point is I brainstorm a LOT. And what I’ve been brainstorming about recently are jobs. Not like, traditional jobs, but jobs that would utilize my very special and unique skill set. AKA jobs that don’t actually exist, yet. The following proposal was one of the first ideas I had and in all seriousness when I thought of it I thought I was a genius and that people would be begging for my services. And then people brought me down, haters gonna hate.

So here it is. I want to be………. An event planner for homeless people!!!! Does that not sound GREAT?!?!?!!? Let me explain. As almost anyone that knows me would tell you, I love free stuff. To a slightly abnormal degree. “Oh here’s some free newspapers, better take 10 just in case!” kind of deal. This combined with my closet life as a hoarder doesn’t always mix well but whatever. Anyway, because of my love of free stuff I spend a ridiculous amount of time researching free activities or whatever to do here in the Capital Region or really anywhere. I love it. I love finding free things!

So that’s the first part. And then I was thinking, well there must be other people that want to know what all the fun free things are to do around here. And then my next thought was, hey! What about homeless people?! They don’t generally have a lot of money, and I’m sure they want to do fun things as much as the next person rather than just walking around pointlessly all day…. soooo why don’t I become an events coordinator for homeless people to keep them busy during the day?! Brilliant, right? I think so.

Additionally, this could have added benefits! It would not only keep people busy, but off the street, out of trouble, not doing drugs, out of the elements, maybe there would even be food. Tell me I am not a miracle worker, please, try. hahaha

A small problem does lie in the whole, how would I get paid part…. So I need some rich person to really really believe in me and just decide to give me millions of dollars to tell people free things to do. If you know anyone, let me know, I’m in the market for a backer.

Even as I write this in a kind of making fun of myself and my dumb ideas kind of way I still think its a great idea. No one can bring me down! Not only is it just a nice thing to do, its philanthropic. And then I could go nationwide! Think of the possibilities!!!

If you want your chance to invest in “Event Planning for Homeless People by Kelly” please, go ahead and get started with this great new company as soon as possible. The management has many expenses that need to be taken care of…..