If you think about it, it is actually completely justifiable

this is a picture of a person in a blue panda suit just because. You’re welcome. ImageOk so recently I have been setting a lot of “rules” for myself. Mostly because I looked at my bank account for the first time in like a month and screamed. I’ve always been careful with my money, but I also used to have absolutely no problem spending it. I mean, that’s what its there for right? But in these troubling times where my weekly medical bill is over $500 out of pocket, I realized that perhaps maybe I might want to rethink the necessity of certain things. Aka, maybe not eat out every single day of the week.

So with that in mind, I made some rules. No more buying coffee when you can make it at home (although I’m trying to give up caffeine altogether! kill me), no going out to lunch every single day when there is perfectly good food at home, and the most difficult rule, no more buying clothes unless they are legitimately necessary. I set my limitations around June 25 and for like 3 days I did AWESOME. I didn’t buy anything! I was so proud! But like, it was practically torture passing a Starbucks. Anyway, point is I was really proud and I was so hopeful for the future for like a day.

But then…… I got an email from one of the many discount clothing websites I get emails from and on July 1st there was going to be a Lilly Pulitzer sale. And I couldn’t resist. So July 1st at 11:00am while I was at work I broke the rules. I just went to TOWN buying things that I DO NOT NEED. But it was so fun and gave me a rush of adrenaline and it was awesome. So of course I was thinking, “hmmm well why stop now?!” so I decided to buy some Groupons, I signed up for a 5K, bought some more clothes, etc. etc. Whoops. Whatever, I was happy right?

So the next day I’m just hanging out online as per the usual and I notice that because I bought that Lilly stuff, I get free shipping on that website for 30 days. In my head, this translated to “Oh my god I have to buy so much more stuff to take advantage of this free shipping while I have it!!!!! What a GOOD DEAL!!!!!” Sooo what did I do? Buy more things. Specifically a bathing suit that I literally already have the exact same one in the same color and everything but this one was free shipping so I had to get it. That’s just how it works. And if you think about it, I’m really just saving money because everything I bought was already on sale and then there was the free shipping situation and like, I neeeeeed a bathing suit. And it will last me a while. These are all the things I tell myself as I hit the checkout button.

Of course some normal person would see this and be like, “yeah you crazy”, which is actually pretty accurate, but to me it all makes perfect sense! Yes, I have no money but if you buy things on sale you basically aren’t spending money. And when you buy things online that’s not real, right? That’s how that works? That’s how it works if you ask me!

And once the money spending rule was broken, a mere 5 days after it had been set in stone, I was an expert at justifying all sorts of things. Like giving up caffeine for example. What I wrote in my contract with myself was that I would give up coffee and soda. So for lunch I had Red Bull, which is NOT coffee or soda! Not breaking the rules! See what I did there? Same sort of thing with the not eating out daily. I am not a big breakfast person so I don’t really consider that a meal per se sooooo if I buy like a muffin or a bagel that’s not REALLY eating out because its just breakfast and that doesn’t count. Oh and ice cream and froyo never count. Just because they don’t. They don’t have calories in them either so basically those are freebies in all cases. haha Told you my sense of reality was a bit warped.

Anyway, the point is, I just think it is really funny how I can justify almost anything to myself. And I’m sure a lot of people must do that too? Or am I just some crazy person? I mean that would not be a shocker but I just thought a lot about how so often I will “break my rules” but then I make it ok by some bullshit explanation that doesn’t even make logical sense. I find that fascinating. So as of today, I’m getting back on the wagon! Time to try to follow the “rules” a bit better. But if I slip up, you can bet I had a good reason.