Either Obsessed or Ambivalent

Once upon a time there was an acquaintance of mine who seemed to always fall victim to the latest craze. As one trend became popular, she would become enamored and invested to a point which I, at the time, thought was actually crazy. For her it was always like pretty mainstream things like, for instance, The Jonas Brothers or like, I don’t know maybe some popular guilty pleasure TV show like Pretty Little Liars. Whatever, it could be anything really. But I noticed that this particular person would completely absorb themselves into that culture and it became their identity. At the time I just thought she was nuts. Not to say I wasn’t obsessed with stuff myself! I mean, I did every single animal report ever on Otters and if I took a picture of my room right now, over 75% of the things in this room have otters on them. But for some reason it always seemed weird to me that someone could be SO OBSESSED with something for one minute, and then just move on to the next thing that would temporarily take over their lives.

Within the past couple of years though I have noticed a similar trend in myself. Not so much the “going with what’s popular in the moment and then moving on” aspect but in the “PURE OBSESSION” aspect. For me, I don’t just “like” something. I either love it and know everything about it ever, or I really don’t care that much at all. There is barely a middle ground for me. Is that weird? I feel like it is. I feel like most people could be like, “Oh yeah I saw that movie it was good.” and move on with their lives. That person, is not me.

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Accurate

Example. This happens a LOT to me with books and TV shows. That’s why I hate the question “What’s your favorite book/TV show/movie/band” because it honestly really depends on the minute. Anyway, so a friend recommended to me that I watch the TV series Orphan Black since I had gotten into the BBC thing with my obsession with Downton Abbey. Within 48 hours I had finished the entire season of Orphan Black, researched like every aspect about it online, and proclaimed it my new favorite show. This cycle would be repeated just last week with Orange is the New Black. Once I “like” something, I need it and I need all of it and I need it NOW.

This is why it is hard for me to understand people sometimes. I am sort of crazy about Harry Potter and so when a new book came out I literally would not move/stop reading until I finished the book (which I can proudly say were all finished within one days time. winner) People would say logical things like “Oh I wanted to savor it, really take my time.” That makes complete logical sense. But like to me, it’s more like… WHAT?!?!? Are you crazy? I can’t get enough! How can I possibly live my life not knowing what happens in the next chapter, or the next??? So I HAVE to read it all in one sitting or I literally will not be able to function.

On the other end of the spectrum, I generally feel like if I don’t really love something, than I could probably care less. Unfortunately as I sit here, immersed in my love for so many random things, I’m having a hard time coming up with a good example of the opposite, however I can recall myself saying “Oh my god I haaaaaatttttteeee that” when in reality it just wasn’t my new favorite thing. Ok its really making me mad that I can’t think of an example right now and it is actually driving me crazy. Crap. Boooooo.

In summation, I think that I used to think I was NOT a typical fan girl because my obsessions were not always the “it thing” of popular culture at the moment, which obviously made ME different. But that’s so not true! I am just as crazy as everyone else! Sure my poison my not be Justin Beiber (um ew) but get me started on my current favorite book and I act like a lunatic! So, to the girl in high school who I couldn’t understand, I apologize. We are no different. She’s actually probably better than me, because when she loves something its probably universally loved. But me, I always go out on a limb for something a little different.