October 18, 2014

Dental Floss must have Magical Powers.

In general, I like to pride myself on keeping an assortment of toiletries, extra shampoo/conditioner, toothpaste, etc. so that when I inevitably run out, I’ve got a back up on hand. There are of course, times I am unprepared. So one morning, after using the very last of my travel size toothpaste, I was making a list of things I would buy while I was out.  I noticed I was out of dental floss, but I didn’t put it on my list. I didn’t even look for it in the store.

I don’t think I have ever bought dental floss ever in my whole life. Not that this has been a conscious choice, but I swear somehow, every single time I think I’m out of dental floss a brand new one appears out of thin air. How does it do this?! I’ve never questioned it because, hey one less thing I have to buy right? And that evening, when magically the dental floss fairy provided a new one in my bathroom drawer that I had only checked maybe 1000 times earlier that day, I had the realization that there must be some sort of magic involved here.

I could not stop thinking about this the rest of the night. And most of the next day. And I’m still thinking about it a week later. Where is all this dental floss coming from? Has anyone ever actually bought dental floss in a store, or am I the only one experiencing this very odd phenomenon? How are they making money off of this? Is this why there aren’t any dental floss ads, because it doesn’t need to be advertised since it magically appears in our homes?! I remain baffled. And I am genuinely curious about how this happens.

So am I crazy? (well obviously but ya know). Have people bought this product in a store? Have you ever received dental floss anywhere other than your annual dental check up “goody bag”??? SO MANY QUESTIONS with seemingly no answers. One day, we may find an answer to the real problems we are facing.

p.s. iheartfall

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August 23, 2014

Stop Ruining My Life Book Covers!!!!

Ok, I know that a lot of books have been turned into movies because the availability of original plot lines is practically non – existent but can we please just STOP IT with the book covers saying “Now a Major Motion Picture!” with the actors on the cover? I DO NOT WANT THAT BOOK. I want the original cover, and no mention of it being a movie. Is that really so much to ask? Just stop. Please. I’m tired of seeing LOTR books with Elijah Wood on them. If I want to buy a book, I’m buying THE BOOK, not the movie. If I want to do that, I shall do that later, on my own time. I realize this is probably completely irrelevant to everyone else on the planet, but this is just a small thing that really annoys me and therefore it must go away. The End.

This is just wrong.

This is just wrong.

AH HA! I AM NOT the only person that this bothers, look at this post and just be sad for the covers that will never be the same again….. 15 Book Covers That Make Us Sad

Amen to that fellow book lovers! 

August 17, 2014

I’ve been nominated for a Liebster Award!

An Award?! For ME?!

Well Howdy!

 I’m excited to say that I was nominated for the Liebstar award by Diana from thedianadiaries! Here are the rules:

  • You have to link back to the person that nominated you.
  • You must answer all 11 questions given to you by the person who nominated you.
  • After completing these questions you must nominate 11 bloggers with under 200 followers and give them 11 questions of your choice.
  • You must not nominate the person who nominated you.

You must let your nominees know that they have been nominated and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it.

The Questions I Have Been Asked to Answer: 

  1. What are three words you would use to describe yourself? Awkward, Dreamer, Unlucky
  2. Would you rather be a mermaid or a unicorn? Unicorn! Because we all know that Unicorn’s have awesome super powers of sustaining life and their blood is silver and GLITTER!
  3. What was your favorite movie/book as a kid? Well as a self-proclaimed nerd, I don’t know that I could really pick a favorite childhood book. I was a huge Beverly Cleary fan, loved me some Boxcar Kids, as a small tyke I really liked those “Carl” books. I’m not actually sure what they were REALLY called, but they were these gorgeous illustrations about this Black Lab named Carl, and there weren’t any words except like on the last page there would be maybe a short sentence or something. I can picture the Christmas one so clearly in my head…. I just always called them “Carl” books so I’m not sure what they really are called.
  4. If you could learn a new language, which one would it be? Ummmm, any language that SOUNDS really cool? That’s a pretty bad answer, but like I would like to learn a language that I could speak and sound really smart or cultured? This makes me appear to be a terrible person.
  5. Sun or Rain? Rain. All the more reason to stay inside and cuddle up with a book and some tea!
  6. What is your zodiac sign? And do you really believe in horoscopes? I am a Pisces and I super do NOT believe in horoscopes because everything I’ve ever read about Pisces is always “You are so creative and great at art and expressive and SO GOOD AT ART.” And anyone who has seen my “art” can attest that I’m not even a little bit good at art. So no.
  7. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Definitely a morning person, waking up late feels like I’ve wasted my day.
  8. What do you enjoy the most, watching movies or reading books?   I feel pretty confident that if you even know me a little bit or even not at all you know that the answer is clearly, undoubtedly reading books.
  9. What are three things in your life that you can’t live without? My planner, my dog, and caffeine.
  10. Would you rather be alone or with someone who you don’t really love? Alone, but then again I AM a loner…. Possibly a future recluse
  11. What is/are, according to you, the most annoying personality traits? I guess the most annoying personality trait to me is narcissism? Which by that I mean those people who feel the need to make every single conversation/situation/problem about themselves, like if I were to say “Hey I’ve developed an addiction to heroin!*” this person would be, “Well that is really hard on me because of this completely unrelated situation that I will now talk about for 10 hours and I will not acknowledge anything you said ever again.” Also co-morbid with being a “one-upper.” (which also drives me crazy).  *Disclaimer – I’m not addicted to heroin.

OK! So I realize that I mainly talked about books in those answers… so I’m officially an awesome loser (sorry not sorry) but now I have to think of questions and this is stressful! Oh No! BUT FIRST! I shall nominate:

Rantings from Inside My Head

Something Clever…

Viciously Sweet

ABBI957

I’ll try and think of more later, my brain is broken. BUT HERE ARE MY THRILLING QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED BY THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO ACCEPT 😛

  • What was the last picture you took on your phone? Was it a selfie? (I may be judging you….)
  • Any current “bad habits” or habits that took forever to get rid of ? i.e. nail biting?
  • What actor/actress would be the best “you” in the biographical movie of your life?
  • If you had to pick a television show to be your life, what would it be?
  • What was the last movie you saw? Was it worth it? (Review unnecessary, but appreciated)
  • Have you ever been a participant in a food fight?
  • Is there a particular word that literally makes you want to die when you hear it? (ex. moist UGH EW)
  • What has been your favorite class out of all the classes you have ever been in?
  • Have you ever met anyone famous??
  • What is the corniest joke you know?
  • What is the best compliment you have ever received?

Off you go! Now I can’t stop thinking of really weird questions….. I’m enjoying that part WAY more than I had anticipated…. 

August 5, 2014

Completely Valid Excuses

Ok fine, fine, someone say “I told you so.” We all knew I would kinda, sort of, a little bit, give up, slash forget about the fact that I was writing (well attempting to write) this blog thingy. But as is quite clear from the absolutely non-contradictory title of this “post””, I may have slacked off a bit but my reasons are completely valid.

  1. There are a LOT of things that just HAVE to be watched on Netflix, and I can’t just let Netflix down can I?
  2. My brain is most likely broken and therefore not only have I lot the ability to write, but I also have been just flat out forgetting words/how to speak English. So brokn brain = check.
  3. In a fight between writing things and lying in my bed, my bed wins every time.

As you can see, these are all really excellent reasons as to why I have disappeared into the shadows of my lair. But today I had this random urge to just write something! Weird. And then I came up with a few ideas but of course did I follow through with any of those. No. My bad. So instead, here are pictures of things that have happened since I last wrote anything here. (You may notice that the majority of the things have to do with otters…..#storyofmylife)

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Cheers to my Alpha Chi Sisters at Mrs. Magner’s Wedding!!

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They are not my actual children. Although it does look shockingly a lot like they could be……

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IMG_4149 otter bff #1 in Portland

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super excited about otter bff #2

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Haystack Rock in Oregon

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oh and then I went to LA

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best art ever 😀

 

 

June 8, 2014

Random Thoughts on Life, Love, and Drunk People

It is Sunday again. How did that happen? Where does the time go?! Which actually that reminds of a paper I wrote on the illusion of time for an English class in college and now I’m probably going to think about that again for like 4 hours……. I’ll try not to get into it here, because you probably don’t care. 😛

Random Thoughts of the Week:

  1. Why, just WHY, must some websites INSIST on sending you a confirmation email when you unsubscribe from whatever nonsense emails they keep sending you. Like I am literally telling you that your emails as pissing me off, and yet they have the audacity to send me that ONE FINAL EMAIL just to prove that they are better than me?!?!?! I don’t why this bothers me so much, probably no one else even thinks about this, but I’ve decided it is a cruel trick to play to show that really, even though you think you have defeated them, they have won the war. Jerks
  2. Just please take a moment to look at these tiny baby goats and then cry because I want one so badly

    TINY BABY GOATS!

    TINY BABY GOATS!

  3. It is a little bit absurd what people will complain about. Like ok, yes I just complained about the email thing, but like that isn’t something I would go out of my way to email someone about or call and complain, because I have the common sense to realize that in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter. But I’ve talked to several people recently who work in customer service, and being a customer service vet myself, and it is actually laughable what people will call and complain about! And what they expect you to do to make them happy! “Wow, I’m so sorry ma’am that you had to wait in line for 10 minutes, that must have been really tough, but if that was literally the worst part of your day, I’d say you are doing pretty well.” I recently was talking with the box office manager of a big local theater and she said that over the winter, someone called for a refund for their ticket to an event, that raises money for childhood cancer research, because it was snowing and it wasn’t his fault “the **explative** kids had cancer.” Seriously? Really? That is appalling. — > Sorry, that got way more intense and serious than I had planned… awk.
  4. Drunk people will give you all of their money if you ask and smile nicely. And then they will forget they gave you any money and give you more. Excellent. So if anyone needs to do some fundraising, go someplace where the people are pretty drunk. Haha

And those are all the thoughts in my head. Probably. Or at least the only ones I can remember…. Sad times, when you are so old you don’t even remember your own thoughts. Even though the mall police still card me because I look younger than 18…..My life is just really rough

May 18, 2014

Fitness Funk…..

I’ve always said this blog has no theme, which is very clearly true if you look at anything I’ve ever written on here. However, a theme in my life for the past several years (with particular emphasis on the last year and a half) has been getting healthy. And I need some advice so this is what is happening today.

I was always an active child, I played sports, did outdoorsy things whatever. In college I did my best to keep it up and went to the gym as often as I could and participated in intramurals. So that was ok for a while, but I found that without some form of outside structure (like being a part of a team) I constantly was having to FORCE myself to get off my couch. Being active wasn’t fun anymore. And so my senior year of college I just stopped going to the gym because I told myself it was too hard. That combined with my complete inability to cook lead to a lot of take-out and a lot of lazy. I thought that was ok, but I wasn’t happy. I can’t look at my graduation pictures without cringing because I just was so unhealthy and unhappy.

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(please ignore the poor image qaulity and the fact that the black dress is way way too short!!! boo)

So I’ve been trying to change that! FINALLY last October I joined a gym, got a personal trainer, and decided to get serious about being healthy. As much as I would love to eat ice cream all day everyday, that probably isn’t the smartest decision. Since then it’s been really hard, I will not sugarcoat that at all. When I first get back to the gym I’m all motivated and excited and it feels great, but I have now reached the 6 month mark and I’m #overit again. I’ve tried taking new classes, joining a rec soccer team, going on walks in interesting places, but I’ve lost my motivation again. Even on the most beautiful day sometimes I’ll just sit inside instead of going for a quick walk, even though I know for a fact that I always feel better after exercise and eating well. I know that losing motivation to get healthy is fairly common, and I’m wondering if anyone has any out of the box suggestions to get me going again???!?!!? What can I do to make the “healthy lifestyle” more exciting so that I start doing all those good things again? Thoughts? Criticisms? Motivational Speeches? A VISIT FROM BOB HARPER AND JILLIAN MICHAELS AND DOLVETT QUINCE PERHAPS? (pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease) haha

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Hope y’all are enjoying some beautiful weather!

May 9, 2014

I’d rather be happy

If you know anything about me at all, you know that I am ridiculously obsessed with free stuff. I spend hours researching free activities, entering contests, trying to get free money, etc., etc., so the following might seem a BIT out of character. Do not be too alarmed. (I still like free stuff don’t worry).

This is something that I have always kind of lived by, but today it really like hit me in the face for absolutely no discernible reason. Another contradiction that I am a walking example of is that I like to do new things, try and have unique experiences and take advantage of what I can do while I can! Of course at the same time, I’m like terrified of trying new things, but in the end, to me the experience is always worth it.

So what hit me today was that I would rather be happy than “rich.” Ok I know that sounds cliche and stupid. So let me explain. This week I spent $70.00 at bookstores. Some people may think that is absurd when I already have a zillion books and the pile of “to-read” books is getting taller than I am, but finding a book, picking it up and imagining the possibilities within it? That’s thrilling to me! Finding really random kitchy things that I don’t really need or something I find really funny, I love that. I want to buy all of it. I don’t care if other people think it’s a waste of money or if people think I’m crazy, it’s something that really makes me happy.

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True Story

I feel the same way about spending a little extra money to go do something that I know I truly enjoy. Or to try something I’ve always wanted to do. I know that pretty much everyone else does not share this opinion. Especially as someone in their mid-twenties, the main focus for so many people my age is money. And I totally understand, I know that I have to (and I do) save money for school and for bills and for rent and for becoming a “real adult.” And it might seem irresponsible for me to write this, especially since I work 3 fake jobs and make very little money, but I save almost all of it so why shouldn’t I spend a little more to do things that make me happy. Would I like to have a good job and a really solid savings account and enough money to be a “real adult”? Absolutely, I’d love that! But that isn’t my reality right now, so while I can I want to try new things. I want to go out for a fancy dinner or go to a play or try  a random kayaking adventure.

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So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past several years, well really ever since high school. Unfortunately I remain alone in this venture, because my friends are sensible real adults who have real lives to worry about! So I’m awkward loner in the corner at a random event, or literally the only person who goes to like a Paint/Drink place alone, but I enjoy it. I don’t like blow all my money on some crazy vacation that I’ll never be able to pay off or something like that, but I will spend a little more if I know that even for just a few hours, I will get to enjoy my life. I may never be a rich woman, but I won’t regret doing what makes me happy.

Happy Weekend!

May 4, 2014

What You’ve Missed

Ok, yeah. My last post was in March, so lets all just give me an A+ on that….But when you see what you have missed out on this past month and a half, oh boy will you understand.

Things that have happened in my extremely riveting life since March 21, 2014:

1. I wrote myself some super encouraging notes to get myself to actually DO MY SCHOOL WORK

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This is what it has come to

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Some scare tactics…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. I became best friends with a horse because I feel he is the only one who truly understands me.

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Please Note the “I’m Grumpy, Please do NOT pet me sign”

3. I achieved a life goal and saw Idina Menzel live on Broadway and I cried when she came out. And I also almost attacked Anthony Rapp. Casual.

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SO GOOD. The entire cast was fantastic but ohmygod Idina Menzel is a goddess!

4. I read a lot of books, I watched a lot of Netflix.

And that’s it! Can you believe it? Like WOAHHHH slow down there Kelly don’t push yourself too hard there!

Aren’t we all glad now I didn’t write anything? Yes. I wish I could say that in a flash my life will become exponentially more exciting but that is obviously false. If anyone has any ideas for fun secret missions or FREE adventures, please let me know. I love free things and secret missions. And there just has not been enough of that in my life recently.

Forever avoiding the real world, Kelly.

March 21, 2014

I just really enjoy leaving notes

I really like writing notes to people. And to myself actually… (weird). I actually wrote myself a note today in my car, giving myself an A+ for putting my jeans in the laundry while completely forgetting that a mere 10 minutes earlier I had just placed this weeks babysitting money in the back pocket. Sigh. I am particularly fond of a well placed Post – It full of wit and snark as a (hopefully pleasant?) little surprise for someone. And perhaps they do not understand the genius that is in the note, but I think I’m hilarious so who cares.

I thought of this because I am CONSTANTLY leaving notes for my parents reminding them that we STILL DO HAVE AN ANSWERING MACHINE and in the .05% chance that a non-telemarketer has called and left an important/relevant message, maybe they should umm take a listen. This is actually a fairly involved process. I’m the only one who ever checks the answering machine, because as noted above, no one seems to remember that we have that. So I hear all the messages meant for my parents and then I promptly start the process of hoping that sometime in the next 24 – 48 hours one of them figures out there is a message on the answering machine. It takes about four neon Post It’s on the ACTUAL phone/answering machine, and several leading arrows or reminders that will point them to the note covered phone which MAYBE they will read and perhaps understand a message is on the machine.

But I don’t leave normal message notes. I don’t say who called, or what there number is or really anything relevant at all. This is the  note I just left for my father:

FATHER: A person has called. They want to talk to you. BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING

please remember that your decreased work ethic is the reason

we may soon be living off food stamps and under a bridge somewhere.

If you need an agent for negotiation I am available. 

You may notice this note gives pretty much no useful information. But I love it. I think it’s great, and if he ever finds his way to the phone to listen to that message, I will just laugh alone at myself and my brilliance that no one else understands. This is probably part of the reason people think I’m insane……….

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Thank you Schuyler for posting this on facebook because it is actually my life 🙂 Completely Accurate

*If you would like a witty note left for you inquiries are welcome. However do not expect anything even close to sappy-silly-nonsense. I prefer a more sarcastic route….